Hey, friendlings!
Finally, the new site is here. I’m pumped for you to explore and would love to know what you think. But, before we do anything else, I want to tell you about this project I have been working on, called The Illumination Project.
Hey, Everybody!
I just wanted to let you know that Love and Respect NOW is going dark for the month of June.
Don’t fear; we’ll be back in July.
The reason for going dark is because we’re transforming the site to be less about me and more about us as a community. There will be all kinds of ways for you to help and get involved.
Ask Joy: Hi, Joy, What is your opinion on cross-cultural relationships? —Derek My Response: Hey, Derek, Good question. My opinion on cross-cultural relationships is that they will pose unique obstacles that will cause the couple to ask many questions, one being, “Is it worth it?” You might be able to figure out if it’s worth it by asking the more specific question: “Do we want to understand both cultures to possibly create a home life someday that would embody traditions and characteristics that each of …
Ask Joy: Today’s question actually comes from a guy named Paul, who I like to call “Sweet Paul.” Paul wrote and said, “Hey, Joy, if you’re such an expert on relationships and marriage, why is it that you’re still not married?” My Response: I want to be open and honest with everyone about why I’m not married. I don’t mean to blame my brother, Jonathan, but it is his fault… Questions How do you respond internally to the question of why you are still single? …
It’s ironic that I have been sitting outside (yes, Portland finally hired the sun to make a late-spring appearance) writing about asking good questions and up skips “Charlotte” with her baby doll. When I asked if it was an infant, she said, “No, it’s a doll.” I like your logic, Charlotte. Charlotte is four, and during the time her mother was changing her little brother’s “poopie,” I learned a number of things about Charlotte. She’s “Four.” She’s “Just playing.” Her brother’s birthday is in June. …
Ask Joy I have a crush on my friend, but since we’ve been friends for so long, I don’t know how to say that my feelings have changed. I don’t want to ruin the friendship, so what should I do? My Response The “Ask Joy” above is a shortened version of many similar questions I have received. Men and women all at one point or another seem to find themselves with a friend who was always “just a friend”—who now suddenly looks a little different. …
Ask Joy I want to build a solid foundation of a relationship, but I don’t want to overwhelm a man with my emotions. My Response I first want to say that I don’t like that women get a rap for being overly emotional. I think both men and women were designed with strong feelings and sensitivities and emotions. But where we can see general differences is oftentimes in how women process their emotions, and how men process their emotions… Questions Have you ever experienced your …
Outside of having a hyper sensitivity to what I was doing all day Monday and wondering when the next alarm was going to go off (I’ve never gone to the bathroom so quickly) I was pumped by the response for #MMM. I think I could kiss a unicorn. Many thanks to all who participated, and now, the backstory… Recently I was having breakfast with my friends, Shannon and Melissa. Melissa is a N.I. (Non-Instagramer) and we were explaining to her that people now write #nofilter …
Hello, friends, earthlings, sons, and daughters, I know it’s human nature to want to know how to do something. Many of you often ask, “How do I show respect?” Or, “What does showing love practically look like?” While I often try to stay away from formulas and “Bill Nye the Science Guy” how-tos, I know it’s helpful from time to time to get ideas from other people, such as when I explained how a daughter could write a respect letter to a father. You don’t …
So, I have an idea… AMENDMENT!! I didn’t even think through the fact that #MMM was also used in every person’s yummy food photo. I’m so special. So make sure you tag the Love and Respect NOW page on Facebook, @loverespectNOW on Twitter or @joyeggerichs on Instagram. Here’s my video update on the Amendment. Sorry folks! Don’t forget (or question) the instructions: 1. Set six alarms for Monday, May 7th. 2. Take a picture of whatever is in front of you when alarms go …
Ask Joy: Hi, Joy, I’ve been dating someone for five years now, and he used to be married before, but his wife cheated on him, and he is divorced. He’s an amazing, God-fearing, caring, smart, and handsome man. But he has problems with anger… …even when we have small arguments, he’d always scream and then apologize. He has even raised his hands on me a few times, too. Just this week we had an argument in the car and he got really mad and hit …
Ask Joy: Dear Joy, I know I can do all of these romantic things, like take a girl out to a nice dinner and a movie, or a long walk on the beach at sunset, or cook for her, but… …what actually adds the romance? Sam My Response: You’re right, Sam, it’s not the thing that does it… Questions: Why do we default to “formulas” or “how to’s” when it comes to romantic gestures? What is a romantic gesture that you’ve given or received that …
Ask Joy Hey, Joy! So I am a strong and outgoing woman. I am not a shy person at all! When it comes to the relationship area, people are very inquisitive, and they all have opinions as soon as they find out I’m single. I have many friends who bemoan the fact that they are single and will jump at any chance to flirt. I think something might be wrong with me. All I do is make jokes about never getting married and say things …
Hi Friends, it’s me, Joy and I have some thoughts. Er, well someone smarter than me has some thoughts and I thought I would share those thoughts and you could tell me what you thought, or think, or thew. Coo? Yes, even you creepers who always read and never comment. I want to hear from YOU. Momma’s* watching. Dale S. Kuehne’s book, Sex and the iWorld, (odd title I know, but it makes sense when you read the book) is an interesting proposal of how …
Ask Joy I just got finished watching your “The One” series. I am currently in a relationship with an amazing man who loves the Lord and who loves me in good times and in bad. His love is so deep it’s almost crazy. I feel like I love him but not to the depth that he loves me. It makes me very anxious. I don’t want to marry someone I don’t love enough, but I also don’t want to lose this love. I’m on board …
Ask Joy I often hear people ask why so many men still play video games? My Response Let me tell you why people play video games. They’re fun. Questions Maybe it’s not video games, but do you have somewhere you go to find a win? Do you have something you do to “unwind” that’s shifting into a wound-hiding-habit? How can we know when an activity is actually a distraction for dealing with our broken reality?
Ask Joy: Recently, I was hanging out with a group of friends and having a great time when a guy we didn’t know came up to us and joined the conversation. I talked with him for a while and then drifted into other conversation. A good friend of mine who was there introduced herself but didn’t speak another word to him. The next day he asked her out. I don’t tell this story in an effort to throw myself a pity party, but I do …
Ask Joy Emotional and physical issues get ninety-nine percent of the attention when it comes to talking about relationships, but what do you think about spiritual intimacy inside a dating relationship? Do you think the sky is the limit, or should we save some spiritual intimacy to be enjoyed for the first time as a married couple? As an example, I think communion taken as a couple should be done as man and wife, not boyfriend and girlfriend. But that’s just personal preference; I have …
Many of you have spoken or written to me about your fears of relationships, which have often been caused by the unhealthy examples you have seen modeled around you. Many of you, like me, have experienced deep relational pain. Many of you, like my parents, come from broken and unstable childhood homes. Your sincerity in asking, “How can I heal from all these wounds?” or, “How can I not do what my parents did?” always puts a passion in my heart because I desire that …
Ask Joy If the relationships you had didn’t have any major red flags, why did you end them? What made you finally say “this isn’t working” as opposed to working through it? My Response I don’t think that I ever have said that I ended my relationships, and second of all that they didn’t have red flags. I’ve had both. I’ve had relationships that had red flags that I needed to get out of, and other relationships that didn’t have red flags, we just decided, …
One of the themes I see in many of the Ask Joy questions I get is, “How do I…?” or “When should I…?” or “Is it ok if…?” And one of my main goals is… …to not answer. I prefer posing questions to give possible scenarios pointing the asker to a more global answer. I want to push myself and all of us, to think. And that’s what I want to do for those of you who simply see The Hunger Games as one of …
Ask Joy What is an ideal first date? My Response I was recently asked this question when speaking to a group of students at the College of William & Mary, and then a couple of guys have asked similar questions this week. Men, give yourself a hearty slap on the back for wanting to know what an ideal date would be for a woman, but, as I said to the guy at William & Mary, “I can’t speak for all women, but, off the top …
Today I have asked one of my best friends to share her thoughts on marriage and “being in love” based on a conversation we had this fall when we went camping. Yes, we went camping. Yes, it was just the two of us. And yes, I laid awake all night holding onto my pellet gun and an unsheathed knife. We were not alone. Outside of our camping fails, Lisa is one of my wisest friends. I love the way she thinks and the logic in …
Hello again, for the third time. Can I just say that I absolutely hate this topic? This whole thing that we’re addressing about the words in Scripture that the “husband is the head” and the “wife is to submit.” I absolutely hate this stuff. But I want to address it because I feel like I missed it for so long. I didn’t understand it so I disregarded it. And I think so many of us don’t understand it so we either manipulate it, we miss it …
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