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Ask Joy I have been in a great relationship with my boyfriend for three years. I can’t picture myself with anyone but him. Recently, many of my friends have either gotten engaged, gotten married, or had babies. I feel like I am the odd woman out. I am eager to get married and continue the next stage of my life. When I discuss marriage with my boyfriend, he usually says, “Patience is a virtue,” and leaves it at that. I want to speed things up, …
Ask Joy How do I talk to my boyfriend about his temptations? I haven’t seen anything or experienced anything with him that makes me concerned, but I think it would be naive to assume he doesn’t struggle. I know that I do, and I guess I just want an open conversation. Maybe just be honest about my own struggles and ask him about his? Part 1: SAFETY My Response Part 2: SHOULD I? Pray. Don’t discount this instruction as “Joy is just saying this because …
Ask Joy Why do women want to get married? As a woman, I don’t grasp it myself and certainly could never see getting married before I’m 25 or how it would be important. My Response Guess what is so cool? You don’t have to get married! Just make sure you don’t make flippant comments without thinking about the repercussions of them. Men will hear your mantra of not wanting to get married, and if at age 25 you all of a sudden decide to change …
Earthlings, I am honored by all of the Ask Joy submissions that I receive. I’ve been brainstorming different ways to try and tackle more, and trust me–I am VERY excited about some of the possibilities. But until the day where I can sit next to Anderson Cooper and answer your questions via a CNN broadcast, I thought I would throw some of my work at y’all. I would love to hear how YOU would respond to these questions. And make sure you check back if …
Ask Joy My boyfriend of 3+ years just broke up with me because we have different plans. I thought I would be OK, but it feels like my heart is actually breaking. Do I give up my plans to follow him or do I tough it out and just pray that this pain I feel will go away? My Response I wish I could sit down and have a conversation with you. My heart breaks that you are in such pain. I know that pain. …
Ask Joy Will there ever be a point in a relationship where you will feel free of doubt and be 100 percent ready to choose to commit? My Response For some people, yes, but I think that’s more indicative of a personality trait than whether something is right or wrong with the other person. Regardless of personality and feelings, it’s more important to say, “Am I free to date this person based on what Scripture tells me?” Then… Based on your personality, you can decide …
This week on the Love Is site, the question is: How does commitment play into relationship success? February’s Ebony magazine focuses on Couples with Purpose and has the Obamas on the cover. Eighteen years ago, Barack Obama promised his fiance Michelle that their married life would be nothing if not interesting. “In these two, we recognize full commitment; the kind of commitment that takes the ‘what if…’ out of the equation.” How do you think commitment play into relationship success? CLICK HERE TO SEE MY …
Ask Joy I have three different friends who are engaged or are getting engaged. Honestly, I am so happy for them. But my issue is that all my friends have pity on me. Why? Not because I am single, but because I have been dating the same guy for five years. The reason we haven’t gotten married is simply a financial issue. Honestly, we don’t want to go into marriage having to borrow money from our parents. The job market has been scarce, and my …
Ask Joy My name is Dannie and I have recently been listening to your parents’ audio book. I am only 18 and I’ve been with my boyfriend, who is 22, for only a year, but we’ve considered marriage a lot. I know it sounds too young, but it’s just something that’s been on our minds ever since we’ve been together. So here is my question: Within the past year we’ve struggled a lot with communication. The way we argue isn’t the nicest. I have also …
Ask Joy What do you think about long-distance relationships? My Response A relationship is either going to work or it isn’t. I don’t think distance should be the one and only deciding factor, but it is a factor. All relationships, short or long distance, will entail different factors that will contribute to your figuring out whether she or he is who you want to keep getting to know. Don’t overthink it. Just give it a shot if you like the person. Bonus: If things don’t …
Ask Joy As a male truly desiring to date with honor and respect, I have found “Christian women” seem to fall pretty quick even without truly knowing or desiring to know who we are on the inside. Why are they so quick to fall for SOMEone instead of the ONE? (I already know the answer-as I am a guy and understand the lack of godly men who lead well and love well). My Response What I would like to know is why tall men are …
Ask Joy My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, and every single day, he and I argue. And we’re not even married yet. It’s now to the point where I don’t feel attracted to him anymore from all the arguing and I want to end the relationship. However, he still wants to work it out and believes we can make it through this. What should we do? My Response I first want to point out a comment that you and many …
“I don’t have a peace about dating you.” Is that a valid statement or is someone just pulling the “God card.” For those of you who wonder about Christian verbiage, join us as we discuss what it means when people say, “I don’t have a peace about _________.” And for those of you who have no idea what I am referencing when I say “having a peace” or “God card” or “Christian verbiage,” …join us anyways. Erin and Jenny once again bring some thought provoking …
Ask Joy I cheated on my girlfriend after 15 months of dating. We were planning on getting married. After I confessed to her she didn’t want to see or talk to me again. It has been 3 weeks since and we have talked a few times and I actually got to see her two times this past week. She came to my house one time for some stuff and ended up not taking any of it. Then Friday we went to a function and dinner …
Ask Joy I am currently leading a Love and Respect small group for women. They come from all different situations, happily married, fresh divorce, divorced more than 5 years, married to someone who does not believe in God, etc. Every time these women leave my house I feel like I am putting them in more pain.. yikes! I am using the Love and Respect DVD series and workbook, but it is geared towards couples. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can better …
Ask Joy My boyfriend just broke up with me again. He’s had a rough past with his family and some trust issues. He admits and KNOWS that I love him. He wanted to marry me, but felt so disrespected and was hurt, so he gave up. I’m understanding now after reading your parents book. I want to show him I understand what he meant by disrespect, but I’m also afraid it won’t help. My Answer Proverbs 24:16 says, “For a righteous man falls seven times, …
Ask Joy What happens if you meet someone when you are very young and realize you’re best friends and never want to be apart. You stay pure and you get married…Life is good for a while because you’re hanging out with your best friend. Sex is not a big deal…you have it when he wants to. But then you wake up one day and realize you have never really been physically attracted to this individual. That the sexual feelings you had for him before marriage …
Thanks to everyone who submits great anonymous questions in the Ask Joy section or directly at LoveandRespectNOW@gmail.com It has been such a pleasure to hear your hearts. It causes me to think and pray even more specifically for the concerns and issues we are all facing in this generation. Since I can’t make a video for every single question, I decided to answer some of them publicly in a written response. Some are specific, some broad, but hopefully all of them will help us as …
My father helps me answer another “Ask Joy” question–off the cuff. This is a pretty broad question so it’s hard to be specific in an answer. However, I think his overall challenge is very important and something our generation needs to do. We talk about community and living life together but I fear that often takes on the form of talking to people about our problems that are in our peer group…people who look, act and think like us. I’m not saying they aren’t wise …
This is my first guest blogger in the whole history of the entire universe. That is an awesome sentence. Slightly dramatic, but totally true. For my first guest blogger I chose Morgan because we have a similar heart and life. Have I looked as smokin’ as her in a wedding dress? (That’s her in the excerpt photo.) No I have not. But we both have fathers who are authors and speakers, trying to help relationships. We also work for our fathers because we too believe …
Last week I heard the little “pop” sound on my computer and realized someone was “chatting me.” It was an old friend who had just recently broken up with his girlfriend. After e-chatting for a bit, I decided to run one of my little theories past him. He resonated with the portion I shared and said I should write it up. So here goes…
(a fictitious letter)
Dear Fellow Friends of Rachel,
Did you know that infants, if put in a pool, start swimming naturally? It’s kind of scary to watch because, well, they are infants. What more can they do than sleep, eat, poop and cry? Letting go of an infant takes a huge amount of trust in the child’s natural instincts. Something we can’t see.
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