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Hi Joy,
I’ve recently gotten engaged to a man I met online. My fiancé lives and runs his own start-up in San Diego, and when we get married I’ll be moving from my home in Los Angeles to be with him. Read more
Hey Joy,
I just got out of a pretty serious relationship. My boyfriend and I had been dating for a while, even both saying, “I love you”—until one day he came to me and said, “I don’t love you anymore.” I haven’t heard from him since. Read more
My best friend currently lives in another state. We’re both married, and though we’ve visited and have done stuff as couples, my best friend wants me to come visit for some “girl time.” When I asked my husband if I could go, he flipped out and shut down, saying, “You want to go without me? Fine. Go right now.”
Hey friendlings!
Today I’m comin’ at you from the sunny suburbs because finally, finally, I got visitation rights to see Walter, my long-lost dog love. Unfortunately, he won’t stop hiding under the table.
I think that means he missed me. Read more
In case you’re just tuning in, we’re smack dab in the middle of the What I Know Now series. My hope for all these parental interviews is to highlight the importance of asking questions and seeking counsel—we have so much to learn from those who’ve gone before us.
Think of it as an echo of The Illumination Project song, an opening band to the main show, a slice of apple pie before the main course.
Friendlings, if you’ve been around the site for the past week, you should know two things:
1. The Illumination Project has launched! My baby, born!
2. We are smack dab in the middle of the What I Know Now series, starring none other than my wonderful (and often hilarious) parentals.
I’m excited for you to consume the following words and pictures from my sweet friend, Sarah. There are few settings in life where I am forced to contemplate life more than when traveling solo. I love the insights Sarah stumbled upon when she stepped foot into Spain.
Anybody up for a trip?
My friend, Esther, introduced me to Tim a couple years ago. Not hearing my name correctly, Tim tried to clear it up by guessing what he thought he heard Esther say.
Tim: “Chalet?”
Me: “What? No…Joy.”
I just started dating this wonderful woman—I really care about her, and love the heart she has for having a family someday. Problem is, we just started dating, and because I have to travel a lot for my career, I just left the country for a couple of months.
Hey Joy,
I recently met someone. Bummer is, one of us is moving twenty hours away. We have had several discussions about giving this a chance or not.
We are taking that chance!
I wish you could all hang out with my friend, Katie. She’s one of those people who makes you laugh—most of the time without intentionally trying.
I would also like you to meet Katie because she could essentially be called the co-founder of Love and Respect Now.
Most of you know Sarah and her writing already, but for those of you who don’t—here is a wonderful introduction to her writing style, thoughtful mind, and open heart. I had the honor of meeting her and her hubs a couple years ago and get to serve with her and a group of women to help launch the IF: Gathering next year.
But right now I’m excited to have her share an illumination moment with us.
Hey, Joy!
I just finished reading “Love & Respect”—I am a single woman who has been broken up from a significant other for a year. We were talking of marriage before the break up. In the relationship, I thought he was being a little too sensitive the times when he’d ask me to sit with him and watch a movie that I had absolutely no interest in watching, so I would refuse, or when he would want me to sit in his kitchen with him and watch him cook, though I preferred to watch television instead. Sometimes I gave in, but other times, when I refused, he would get quiet on me and not talk to me. Read more
How do we (men) even know if they (women) are interested? Women never bring it up in our group of friends, so it makes it hard to tell. Read more
Last week, we started talking about the word “hierarchy.” Let’s face it, the word just sounds big and domineering, not to mention I feel like I’m dislocating my jaw when I say it out loud.
But before we completely write it off, let’s remember where we left off in Part 1: most men, I’ve discovered, have an innate sense of responsibility when it comes to protecting women. And women, instead of getting offended or discouraged, could benefit from adapting to an attitude of gratitude toward the intentions of these good men.
Do you want to get the Love and Respect Now magical unicorn crest tattooed on your bicep as much as I do? I thought so…
Josh Chang is the man behind that amazement. A dear Portland friend, Josh and his wife, Amber, have poured into me through their time and servant hearts. For over two years, Amber edited all of my terrrrrible grammar in most of the things I wrote. (If you find an error, it’s because I didn’t send it to her… Also, she often deleted the million ellipses that I wanted to use…all…the…time…) Read more
I just wanted to drop you a line and maybe help a few guys out. I’ve noticed an increase in the times I’ve gotten asked out, and it’s been entirely over text messaging or Facebook. Why? If a guy is lazy in the beginning of the relationship, there’s a pretty good chance there won’t be much improvement later on. So, Joy, if you could pass this out to the men out there and give them a heads up that this is NOT what girls typically like to see, it might turn on a few lightbulbs. Read more
I’ve been dating a guy that I met on a dating site for 4 months now. I recently noticed he is still active on the site and is still signing in to check it daily.
Hello friendlings, Are you aware that it’s wedding season? I have a challenge for those of us attending weddings, and for those who are getting married this year. The Question: Why do you attend weddings? Is it because it’s the one place you can go and dance the YMCA and not be judged? Or is it the Chocolate fountain? (How can you not admire the chocolate fountain?) The challenge to myself and the other attendees this season is to be more committed to our friends who …
If you combined the articulation and factual knowledge of a news anchor, the sarcasm and one-liners of your old crotchety neighbor, and the sass of a thirteen year old female into one, you would get my friend Anna. And that was just my first impression of her when we met at age 18. She got up in front of our freshman leadership class and gave a presentation with no trace of nerves, or reserve, for that matter. I was like, “who is this girl?! I like her.”
Years later she’s still bringing her knowledge and sass to the world and to the web.
Please welcome, my friend Anna, to the Illumination Project.
Ask Joy If the relationships you had didn’t have any major red flags, why did you end them? What made you finally say “this isn’t working” as opposed to working through it? My Response I don’t think that I ever have said that I ended my relationships, and second of all that they didn’t have red flags. I’ve had both. I’ve had relationships that had red flags that I needed to get out of, and other relationships that didn’t have red flags, we just decided, …
Ask Joy How can we respond to young people who want to live together before marriage? I am referring to my son and other friends in their late 20’s. I am trying to be quiet and work with it but it is very awkward. What do you say to young people about this topic? Would you recommend any books or speakers? My Response I want to answer this question looking at your relationship with your son and the people we deal with personally. My heart …
Since I just traveled to Oxford and spent time spying on C.S. Lewis’s home, college and almost every pub he dined in, I thought it only fitting that I highlight a couple parts from his chapter titled “Christian Marriage” in Mere Christianity. I suggest you read the whole chapter but I have noted a few of my own thoughts and would love to hear yours! Part I: On Love What we call ‘being in love’ is a glorious state, and, in several ways, good for …
First: This picture kills me. Partly because she looks like she just turned seven years old, and partly because my face is indicative of events that would follow 4.28 minutes later. This was taken the first week at a place in Switzerland called L’abri. Erin talked me into sledding down the side of an alp and 4.19 minutes later I thought it would be a good idea to sled…STANDING UP. 4.28 minutes later I had broken my ankle. Little did I know my photo face would …
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