Stay Connected
Don't leave just yet. Besides these articles, sometimes I send out extra special stuff. Don't miss out. Sign up here.
Many people (myself included) have asked, “Joy, what do you think about the one?” * Over the next three Mondays, or “Monday – One – Day” as I have been calling it in my head, I will post videos with my personal thoughts on the one. Part 1 – Is There Only One? Part 2 – How Do I Know? (If this is the one.) Part 3 – What If There Is No One? (Contrary to popular belief, we did not order wind machines for …
End of Part 3: …Sex can become casual and free of intimacy for both of us, but how it gets to that point is through different hijackings and perversions of our most intimate design. How are we hijacked? I’ll tell you tomorrow… * Part 4: I believe an understanding of our different designs can hijack sex… It’s my understanding that the visual environment we live in can be more of a temptation for men, and I want women to be aware and have compassion and …
On Monday and Tuesday I answered two Ask Joys pertaining to why men lust and why women aren’t as attracted to the male body. Many women seemed pleased with my acknowledgment that yes, we women are sexual beings, and yes, we do notice a hot man. Others felt that I might be implying that it is OK for women to lust over men. I wanted to be clear about my personal beliefs. You are FREE to believe something else, but this is what I have …
Ask Joy Why did God create men to lust? I hate it that he has to “turn away.” I suppose it’s because I can’t understand it. I am completely fulfilled with my man. There is zero attraction for me when a hot guy hits on me. So my question is, why? Is there a purpose? I think if I understood it a bit more in a biblical sense, I wouldn’t find myself taking it so personally. My Response How many hot guys are hitting on …
Ask Joy What do you think about dating someone who doesn’t KNOW Jesus? My Response Like the background music on this video? The intro to all of my videos is by my friend Ragnar and the music played during my Ask Joy answer is by the super talented husband and wife duo, The Woodlands. So grateful for uber talented friends. 2012 Update: My friend Renea wrote a great post on the same topic…CLICK HERE
Ask Joy My friend and her husband have been married less than a year. Recently they’ve had some of their worst spats via text message. Hearing it is almost laughable, if it weren’t so nasty. Needless to say, they haven’t read Love and Respect or any marriage books. How do you encourage couples who may be starting out on the wrong foot without sounding preachy? My Response “Bill, Nancy… I’m concerned. Lately I have been going through your phones when you were in the bathroom …
Respect and belief. Think about the men in your life. Your father, brother, boyfriend, husband, friend, co-worker. What makes them tick? What are their passions? Don’t know? Then ask or observe. As you start to ask questions, I believe you’ll begin to understand what drives them, and the things that bother you about them will begin to make more sense. As you know, I believe respect is a huge need in the soul of a man. I also believe it has culturally been removed because …
“Cynicism is not activism” is one of my favorite quotes from author Patton Dodd. I love it because it forces me to think about what I am doing in this life rather than what I am complaining about. While the trigger for criticism and action can be the same thing… Cynicism is easy. Activism is hard. We can’t change men. Only God can. But I believe we can be agents of change, used by God to restore a belief in the male population. I think …
Have you ever been confused by the opposite sex? Hurt by a relationship? Felt fearful of marriage? I have too. I find myself wanting to validate and name my pain so I can bring clarity to the confusion. MEN ARE TO BLAME. Peter is passive. Alan is abusive. Darrel is stuck in delayed adolescence. Willy only cares about work. Billy never asks any girls out. What is wrong with him? Johnny has asked out every girl in the office. What is wrong with him? …
I’m tired of hearing about marriage and men. Uh, Joy, I thought that was your job, vocation, calling, love, and passion? It is. And I shouldn’t say tired of it; rather, I am tired of the bad rap men get in articles, shows, and conversations in which the attitude is that marriage is failing, men are failing, the sky is falling, etc. But, Joy, research shows that marriage is falling apart and that all the good men are gone. The Wall Street Journal said so. …
Earthlings, I am honored by all of the Ask Joy submissions that I receive. I’ve been brainstorming different ways to try and tackle more, and trust me–I am VERY excited about some of the possibilities. But until the day where I can sit next to Anderson Cooper and answer your questions via a CNN broadcast, I thought I would throw some of my work at y’all. I would love to hear how YOU would respond to these questions. And make sure you check back if …
Ask Joy My boyfriend of 3+ years just broke up with me because we have different plans. I thought I would be OK, but it feels like my heart is actually breaking. Do I give up my plans to follow him or do I tough it out and just pray that this pain I feel will go away? My Response I wish I could sit down and have a conversation with you. My heart breaks that you are in such pain. I know that pain. …
Ask Joy I am a 20-year-old woman, in school, working part-time, and dancing every day. I am completely happy with myself, inside and out. The only thing I feel is missing in my life is a relationship. I’ve actually never been in a relationship. I date, but it falls through every time. I keep searching for this “spark” or connection and seem to be having trouble finding it. I know I don’t need a guy to make me happy, but I still want to find …
It is truly an honor to be posting on the Imago Dei Women’s blog. I have attended for five years now and have been deeply fed and transformed by the community I call my church home. What Do I Know? I recently attended Imago’s marriage forum—as an unmarried person. Thankfully, there was a big chunk of other singles attending as well. And no, we weren’t there to hit on each other. I hope. Although, I won’t lie; there was a guy in the singles breakout …
Ask Joy Will there ever be a point in a relationship where you will feel free of doubt and be 100 percent ready to choose to commit? My Response For some people, yes, but I think that’s more indicative of a personality trait than whether something is right or wrong with the other person. Regardless of personality and feelings, it’s more important to say, “Am I free to date this person based on what Scripture tells me?” Then… Based on your personality, you can decide …
This week on the Love Is site, the question is: How does commitment play into relationship success? February’s Ebony magazine focuses on Couples with Purpose and has the Obamas on the cover. Eighteen years ago, Barack Obama promised his fiance Michelle that their married life would be nothing if not interesting. “In these two, we recognize full commitment; the kind of commitment that takes the ‘what if…’ out of the equation.” How do you think commitment play into relationship success? CLICK HERE TO SEE MY …
Not gonna lie, weirdest video to date. I blame it on fatigue. It was the last of four Ask Joy’s shot in one shoot. I was tired and when I get tired on camera, I somehow appear to have more energy. You’re welcome. Ask Joy Why is it so hard to let go of feelings for someone you know isn’t good for you? My Response Never heard of the band Mumford & Sons that I so beautifully vocalized? Maybe you live under a rock, or …
1) I associate Valentine’s Day more with candy and the colors pink and red than love. 2) I am amused by the very vocal, bitterly single people on Valentine’s Day. It secretly makes me chuckle because I want to say, “Hmmm…why do you think you are single?” 3) Maybe I lied about “secretly” chuckling since I just told the World Wide Webular. 4) I like red roses. Many women like to say they don’t, but when they get them, I think they secretly like them. …
Ask Joy I have three different friends who are engaged or are getting engaged. Honestly, I am so happy for them. But my issue is that all my friends have pity on me. Why? Not because I am single, but because I have been dating the same guy for five years. The reason we haven’t gotten married is simply a financial issue. Honestly, we don’t want to go into marriage having to borrow money from our parents. The job market has been scarce, and my …
Apparently I am a Love Guru. Says who? This site: Loveishere.com Then why don’t you have five husbands? Exactly what I said. Until that glorious day arrives, I will have to settle for the title of “Love Guru” on the Love Is Here site which is dedicated to strengthening relationships. The site can tailor to the user depending on if they are single, engaged or married. I am humbled and honored to sit among the names of actual experts. (You know, people with a “Dr.” …
Ask Joy My fiancé and I are getting married in April. We are working very hard to live for Jesus and make him our first priority and incorporate him into our relationship; however, it is new to both of us. We don’t see eye to eye on something that is bothering me: bachelor/bachelorette parties. He wants to go out with the guys, and I don’t want a party. I feel as though doing a separate party is celebrating being single when you should be celebrating …
Ask Joy My name is Dannie and I have recently been listening to your parents’ audio book. I am only 18 and I’ve been with my boyfriend, who is 22, for only a year, but we’ve considered marriage a lot. I know it sounds too young, but it’s just something that’s been on our minds ever since we’ve been together. So here is my question: Within the past year we’ve struggled a lot with communication. The way we argue isn’t the nicest. I have also …
Ask Joy My fiance says he would rather be loved than respected. If he feels that he does not deserve or need unconditional respect from me, how do I give him that to get the unconditional love that I crave from him? My Response We don’t feel like we need something if we are getting it… Question What are the things you crave in a relationship? Are they purposely withholding what you need, or are they simply a human being who is unable to meet …
Ask Joy As a male truly desiring to date with honor and respect, I have found “Christian women” seem to fall pretty quick even without truly knowing or desiring to know who we are on the inside. Why are they so quick to fall for SOMEone instead of the ONE? (I already know the answer-as I am a guy and understand the lack of godly men who lead well and love well). My Response What I would like to know is why tall men are …
38