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Ask Joy My fiancé and I are getting married in April. We are working very hard to live for Jesus and make him our first priority and incorporate him into our relationship; however, it is new to both of us. We don’t see eye to eye on something that is bothering me: bachelor/bachelorette parties. He wants to go out with the guys, and I don’t want a party. I feel as though doing a separate party is celebrating being single when you should be celebrating …
Ask Joy Why do nice guys always finish last? I would love to be in a relationship, but I’m known as the “nice guy.” I’m always more like a brother than a boyfriend. Most of my female friends are much more attracted to “bad boys” because there is a sense of danger, which I hear is attractive to women. Do women ever grow out of that feeling, or am I doomed to “always be the groomsman, never the groom”? My Response Thank you …
Ask Joy My name is Dannie and I have recently been listening to your parents’ audio book. I am only 18 and I’ve been with my boyfriend, who is 22, for only a year, but we’ve considered marriage a lot. I know it sounds too young, but it’s just something that’s been on our minds ever since we’ve been together. So here is my question: Within the past year we’ve struggled a lot with communication. The way we argue isn’t the nicest. I have also …
Ask Joy What do you think about long-distance relationships? My Response A relationship is either going to work or it isn’t. I don’t think distance should be the one and only deciding factor, but it is a factor. All relationships, short or long distance, will entail different factors that will contribute to your figuring out whether she or he is who you want to keep getting to know. Don’t overthink it. Just give it a shot if you like the person. Bonus: If things don’t …
You should probably go ahead and check out my friend Destiny’s Blog: CLICK HERE TO SEE DESTINY CRAFT HER PANTS you will like her if… 1) you like crafts. 2) people who never capitalize. She’s kind, generous, talented and easily one of the funniest people I know. Oh, and did I mention she dances? Like a machine. Her wedding folks. And yes, her husband IS that cool to do this with her. And lastly, the “early years” of our friendship. Slave labor. (Yes, that’s me …
Ask Joy My fiance says he would rather be loved than respected. If he feels that he does not deserve or need unconditional respect from me, how do I give him that to get the unconditional love that I crave from him? My Response We don’t feel like we need something if we are getting it… Question What are the things you crave in a relationship? Are they purposely withholding what you need, or are they simply a human being who is unable to meet …
Ask Joy I wish my husband would help me discipline our 3 children. Ideas to encourage this behavior? My Response Thank you for thinking I might have some advice…As a single person with no children to put in time out, I will do my best to answer this question based on what I know about male and female dynamics. When I get married, I may eat my words. This initial question popped into my head: Do you trust his leadership and authority as a disciplinarian? …
Ask Joy What do you do when many of the men your age at church seem childish and not ready to pursue marriage? (This answer is given from a Westernized American view.) My Response Find another church that will satisfy your definition of a man. Seriously though, I’m not really sure what you should “do” but here are some of my thoughts on how as a woman you might be able to be an agent of change. *** When someone is believed in, his or …
Ask Joy As a male truly desiring to date with honor and respect, I have found “Christian women” seem to fall pretty quick even without truly knowing or desiring to know who we are on the inside. Why are they so quick to fall for SOMEone instead of the ONE? (I already know the answer-as I am a guy and understand the lack of godly men who lead well and love well). My Response What I would like to know is why tall men are …
Say that title ten times fast. Ok, I just did…it’s actually not that hard. Instead of writing a blog post* I decided to make a list of the top posts from 2010. Thanks to Google Analytics and forcing my parents to tell me which post they liked the most, I present you with the following: TOP 10 OF 2010 #10 My Mom’s Favorite Post: “Jerk” #9 My Dad’s Favorite Post: “Emerson Interviews Joy” #8 Post Written with the Most Passion: “Swim Baby Swim” #7 Favorite …
Ask Joy How do you get your 18 year-old son to see that committing himself to someone at his age is not a good idea. Also, how do you get him to see that going to the same college as her is an even worse idea? My son is a strong believer in Christ and God isn’t even on her radar. My Response Maybe your son isn’t a strong believer? Sometimes we can have rose-colored glasses about our own children. I would try and shift …
Ask Joy I just got out of a bad relationship and am afraid to date again due to the fact that I’m not a virgin anymore. I’m afraid that the next guy I meet won’t forgive me for my past mistakes. My Response Philippians 3:12-16 Paul reflecting on his life’s purpose even as a sinner: “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I …
Those two things totally go together, huh? This blog is twofold since I just have so many things I like and want to share with the world. The first is a free album by a band called Strangers & Pilgrims. Emily Otteson, is a singer on the album who I had the pleasure of meeting a couple years ago. We were reconnected recently and she reminded me that I had lied to her and her friends and said my middle name was “Full.” I’ve been …
Ask Joy My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, and every single day, he and I argue. And we’re not even married yet. It’s now to the point where I don’t feel attracted to him anymore from all the arguing and I want to end the relationship. However, he still wants to work it out and believes we can make it through this. What should we do? My Response I first want to point out a comment that you and many …
Some of the guys from Rainbreak (check out their latest video with Channing Frye) were over at my apartment shooting a mockumentary for the Con Bro Chill music video. While they were there, I received an Ask Joy question regarding my Formal Lunch series. Since the camera was already rolling, I asked the boys to help me shoot a quick reply. “Decent blood pressure…” Everyone! Get involved. Have your own discussion on topics about relationships, God, sex and more. Let me know how it turns …
In this final video, we tie up the end of Part 4 & Part 5‘s discussion on sexuality and glorifying God (yes those two things go together) and wrap it up by putting Erin and Jenny on the market. Seriously. Also, while Walter and I do have very similar sounding voices, we are not technically related. He is only half German. Hope you enjoyed our discussion! I would love your continued comments on the discussion and stay tuned for next week when I let you …
In this continuation from Part 4, Jenny asks how to glorify God with our sexuality. Erin puts a great perspective on the “struggle” of a chaste life, and I share a bit about my past views…which were anything but glorifying to God. Stay tuned for Part 6…the end of the discussion and where I make Jenny and Erin very uncomfortable in a little thing I like to call, “The Dating Game.” Any men out there single and ready to mingle with these two hotties? Come …
We have all heard the word “chastity.” I’m not sure about you, but the word that immediately follows that in my head is…”belt.” And I’m pretty sure that belt is made of iron…and has a rusty key. FUN! The question we discuss below is one of my favorites. It’s something that won’t have a concrete answer for everyone, but a discussion I think all people should contemplate. Not sure what a “Formal Lunch” is? Watch Part 1 and follow that up with Part 2 and …
“I don’t have a peace about dating you.” Is that a valid statement or is someone just pulling the “God card.” For those of you who wonder about Christian verbiage, join us as we discuss what it means when people say, “I don’t have a peace about _________.” And for those of you who have no idea what I am referencing when I say “having a peace” or “God card” or “Christian verbiage,” …join us anyways. Erin and Jenny once again bring some thought provoking …
Whats a “Formal Lunch” you ask? Make sure to read and watch THIS first…otherwise, the video probably won’t make sense. It’s a continuation from Part 1. Are you about to push play anyways? Seriously…I’m watching you. Watch Part 1 first…or else. Join the “Formal Lunch” and let me know what you think about these questions that Erin and Jenny are asking…What would you say to them? Don’t be shy Nancy.* Billy*, I know you’re dying to join the discussion. (*While Nancy and Billy may be …
Welcome. This is Part 1 of 6 videos that makes up about a 25 minute conversation I had with a couple of my good friends. “Erin from Florida” and “Jenny the Climber” are women I met in Switzerland at a place called L’Abri. While at L’Abri we would have small gatherings of 8-10 people called “Formal Lunch.” The lunch portion usually consisted of soup, homemade rolls and stinky but amazing swiss cheese. And garlic. We ate lots of garlic. As garlic permeated the room, the …
Ask Joy My friend just started to date this guy three weeks ago. In the first two weeks he had cried four times and made her cry twice. Everyone she has talked to, including me, has told her to leave this guy, but she won’t listen. I’m worried about her, so I guess my question is how can I help her make the right choice? My Response This is a tough question. I don’t know why they are both crying so much…malfunctioning tear ducts? My …
Ask Joy Do you think the majority of Christians get married at a young age or rush into it to have sex due to the pressures of the church, the Bible or peers telling you to wait until you’re married? Also, do you think it ties into the high rate of Christians getting a divorce? My Response Personally, I think the trend of Christians getting married at a young age is starting to decrease a bit. The delay in marriage that we see in culture …
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