Recently a friend of mine, who is single without kids, told me about some married friends who recently went on a camping trip with their kids and some other couples. Although she would have loved to go along, she felt like the “season of life factor” may have caused the married couple to compartmentalize the invitation list. My guess is, married people with kids probably assume single peoplewithout kids would rather go camping with their other single friends who can stay up late around a …
Wise words today from my friend, Guy Chmieleski. Growing up, I wonder if when he would hear people say, “You guys!” he would turn around and think everyone else in the crowd had his name?
Did I just make a dad joke?
Hey, friendlings!
A little while back, I did an Ask Joy about being heartbroken and angry and how we can actually retrain our brains to combat these feelings, reshaping our future experiences.
Seriously, our little brains are even smarter than we think! Read more
Fellow Portlander Emily is comin’ at you live today with two things we couldn’t agree on more:
1. Our need to launch our rap careers
2. Assuming the best (ATB)
What I call “ATB” Emily calls “No Negative Generalizations,” and my parents call it “Assume Goodwill.” And eventually, I will just come on stage and start all my raps with “Yo, let’s ATB all up in heeeeeaaa!”
Hi Joy,
Most of the time, I hear “respect” talked about as if it’s primarily a man’s thing. But, respect is really important to me, as a woman–I know this because of the inner temper-tantrum I feel whenever I feel disrespected. I don’t just mean respect in a sexual sense (in fact, that’s the least of my worries). I crave respect as an adult, as a professional and as a Christian. Read more
Hi Joy,
I watched your video about leading people on. At first I thought, “Oh! I am free and clear. I never lead anyone on…ever. They just take my friendliness out of context.” Then I realized my behavior hasn’t been just friendly. I have been the textbook definition of a tease and now I don’t know what to do. So my question is: how do you dig yourself out once you’ve led someone on?
Hi Joy,
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Just give it a chance,” about dating people who you’re not interested in. Friends and family say it to me all the time. On more than one occasion, I’ve taken their advice…and it usually ends with me firing these friends from their self-appointed job as matchmaker. Can you help me come up with a snappy comeback for the next time someone tells me this?
It’s not every day a magazine interview that is supposed to last 30-ish minutes ends up going 2 hours and subsequent plans are made to meet the interviewer the following week in L.A.
(Man, I wish I was about to tell you the interviewer was a dude!)
ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY (and Stephanie’s half-birthday) IS MY TWO FRONT TEETH AND FOR YOU TO CONSIDER THESE TWO THINGS:
During the filming of The Illumination Project, I asked my father why in the world he would compare women as pink to men as blue in his book, Love and Respect. From my politically correct perspective, those colors felt stereotypical and were a distraction from the overall message of the book. However, when you watch the video series, you will hear how he changed my mind and learn why I am on board with this analogy now.
Like my parents also say on this subject, “You’re not wrong–just different.” Read more
How do I deal with the anger I’m feeling over a broken heart? My last relationship ended after I took a stand against some things I felt convicted about. But, now I just feel like such a fool. I’ve already built up some major walls against men in general and the poor guy I date next is going to have to scale them all. If my previous relationships are any indication of what marriage is going to be like, I want nothing to do with it. Help!
Hey, Joy!
I just finished reading “Love & Respect”—I am a single woman who has been broken up from a significant other for a year. We were talking of marriage before the break up. In the relationship, I thought he was being a little too sensitive the times when he’d ask me to sit with him and watch a movie that I had absolutely no interest in watching, so I would refuse, or when he would want me to sit in his kitchen with him and watch him cook, though I preferred to watch television instead. Sometimes I gave in, but other times, when I refused, he would get quiet on me and not talk to me. Read more
I had a fight with my husband tonight and I’m at a total loss for knowing what to do now. Essentially, what happened was this…He’s much better with computers than I am so I asked him for help with an issue I was having with ours. After giving me his advice, I asked him if he was sure and then continued with more clarifying questions. He got really annoyed and shot back, “It’s simple enough for a 3rd grader to do.” So, then I shot back with some remarks, including a parallel to the way his father is–which didn’t go over so well. In the end, he said, “You’re always right. I’m always wrong,” and then he just shut down. This always happens when we argue. So, what do I do? Read more
I met Janel in college. She was a star soccer player, artist, and native Californian. In my midwest naivety, I heard her speak and said, “So, are you what they call a Valley Girl?” She was not amused.
And she’s probably not amused at me telling that story.
Friendlings,
Finally! For those of you who haven’t been quite clear on what The Illumination Project is, here is the place where you can get info, watch sample clips, hear from people who attended the Portland filming, and sign up for mind-blowing updates.
Seriously, your mind will. be. blown. Read more
Joy,
I have an Ask Joy question for you. Can you do a blog post about guys that actually step up and clearly ask girls out (via the phone), pick them up, open the car door, pay for everything, drop them off, walk them to the door, call a few days later to go on a second date….and then the girls tell their friends they aren’t sure if it was a date or not? We have a spreading disease in my city. Read more
Brad and I became friends a couple years ago through our mutual friend Jeff Shinabarger. (I’m starting to think Shinabarger is the Kevin Bacon game of my life.) I am very impressed by Brad’s work ethic and his ability to lead people well.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 3 months. He says he’s committed to me, but he won’t say he loves me, even though he wants to. He was in a previous relationship for 6 years so I understand he wants to be cautious and take it slow. But, c’mon…if he says he wants to say it but doesn’t say it, doesn’t that mean he doesn’t love me? Read more
Hi, Joy!
My girlfriend and I have been in each other’s lives for four years. We dated my senior year in high school, dated for two years, and then broke up. Later, after we broke up, she became a follower of Christ and being agnostic myself was interested in her faith. I started going to church with her and after a couple months I accepted Christ too. After awhile we started dating again and it’s been almost a year.
I know Blair from the streets. We used to hoop it up on Saturday mornings in our SE Portland hood.
And by hoop it up I mean we would play H.O.R.S.E. or I would run around and try to set picks and do a lot of screaming. Read more
We had wedding bells ring this month for one of our interns (it’s one of the pre-requisites to being on the team). We were so excited to hear about Julie’s wedding plans and when I found out how she and her fiancé (now husband) were working against the typical western wedding grain, I told her that they needed to share with you all.
Listen up, folks! Read more
We attended a Love and Respect conference in Chicago 5 years ago and it changed our lives. It gave us the tools to make our great marriage even better.
Now, we’re planning to go through the Love and Respect DVD series with our young adult Bible study and we’d like your advice on how to best lead it when there are people in all seasons of life in the group–single, dating, engaged, and married.
Hello my friendlings,
For all of you who have a case of the winter blues, take heart, because things are about to change. Spring is on its way. And you know what this season brings? Hay fever. Read more
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