Hey Joy!
I’m having a hard time figuring out whether the “children obey your parents” verses apply to adult children as well. My parents feel I need to obey them until I am married, but I’m pretty sure God directed those verses at children who were still being reared. What’s your opinion? And if it’s true that I don’t need to obey my parents anymore, how do I proceed to have a good relationship with my parents?
Last week, we started talking about the word “hierarchy.” Let’s face it, the word just sounds big and domineering, not to mention I feel like I’m dislocating my jaw when I say it out loud.
But before we completely write it off, let’s remember where we left off in Part 1: most men, I’ve discovered, have an innate sense of responsibility when it comes to protecting women. And women, instead of getting offended or discouraged, could benefit from adapting to an attitude of gratitude toward the intentions of these good men.
Hierarchy.
This word immediately makes me envision a hairy man seated on a throne wearing red fur and a pinky ring. I also hear him saying in the voice of Brian Regan, “Bring me the head of a pig and a goblet of something cool and refreshing!”
So as you can imagine, when I saw that my father had a chapter in his book Love and Respect titled “Hierarchy,” I almost wet my pants.
This Ask Joy comes from a friend of mine who is a passionate leader and entrepreneur. She longs to be married as well as change the world. And I believe she will do both…
How come when I say I have exciting news, I get like 50 texts asking if I am engaged? How do we get there, people?? I’ve been single for like 10 years! Read more
I just wanted to drop you a line and maybe help a few guys out. I’ve noticed an increase in the times I’ve gotten asked out, and it’s been entirely over text messaging or Facebook. Why? If a guy is lazy in the beginning of the relationship, there’s a pretty good chance there won’t be much improvement later on. So, Joy, if you could pass this out to the men out there and give them a heads up that this is NOT what girls typically like to see, it might turn on a few lightbulbs. Read more
Alece was the first person I became friends with on Twitter who I then actually met in person. So far it’s the closest thing I have experienced to online dating, and I was so nervous that I brought my friend Lindsay with me. Just to make sure that Alece wasn’t a serial killer.
Turns out, she wasn’t. Read more
Hi, Joy!
Recently I was talking to this guy and everything was going well. We had planned a date and everything. Out of nowhere, he just disappeared and blocked me on Facebook. Can you give guys advice on that? They cannot just disappear. They have to tell the girl they are not into them. I don’t think this is even a godly reaction. He is not putting the other person’s feelings before his. Please post on Facebook because he is on the Love and Respect Now page.
—Annie
Last week Dr. Ken Canfield wrote a piece on fathers and daughters. As I mentioned in the intro, my own father and Dr. Ken Canfield have been friends for over two decades. They support, sharpen and respect one another greatly. So when my father read Ken’s article last week, reporting the top ten questions women wanted to ask their dads, my father responded with ways he believes women could ask the questions and be more effective in communicating their hearts to the men in their life.
Ask Joy: Hi, Joy, I’ve been dating someone for five years now, and he used to be married before, but his wife cheated on him, and he is divorced. He’s an amazing, God-fearing, caring, smart, and handsome man. But he has problems with anger… …even when we have small arguments, he’d always scream and then apologize. He has even raised his hands on me a few times, too. Just this week we had an argument in the car and he got really mad and hit …
Many of you have spoken or written to me about your fears of relationships, which have often been caused by the unhealthy examples you have seen modeled around you. Many of you, like me, have experienced deep relational pain. Many of you, like my parents, come from broken and unstable childhood homes. Your sincerity in asking, “How can I heal from all these wounds?” or, “How can I not do what my parents did?” always puts a passion in my heart because I desire that …
Today I have asked one of my best friends to share her thoughts on marriage and “being in love” based on a conversation we had this fall when we went camping. Yes, we went camping. Yes, it was just the two of us. And yes, I laid awake all night holding onto my pellet gun and an unsheathed knife. We were not alone. Outside of our camping fails, Lisa is one of my wisest friends. I love the way she thinks and the logic in …
Hello again, for the third time. Can I just say that I absolutely hate this topic? This whole thing that we’re addressing about the words in Scripture that the “husband is the head” and the “wife is to submit.” I absolutely hate this stuff. But I want to address it because I feel like I missed it for so long. I didn’t understand it so I disregarded it. And I think so many of us don’t understand it so we either manipulate it, we miss it …
Ask Joy In the last video I answered a question from a girl who was asking what book she and her fiance should read to prepare for marriage. They believe in mutual submission and love, and don’t agree with the husband being the head and the wife being submissive. And I totally relate with that stuff because those are the passages in scripture that leave me asking, “what in the world does this mean?!” What is this actually saying? My Response I don’t know. I …
Ask Joy My fiance and I are looking for books to read as we prepare for marriage. Do you know of anything that isn’t completely based on the man being the leader and the wife being submissive? We believe in mutual submission and love and it’s hard to find any good resources out there. My Response I really want to get at the heart of your question: what is mutual submission and why are these words in the Bible like the “husband is the head” …
Oh, hello! I’m just wafting the aroma of this soup I’ve been slaving over all day long. I’m so skilled at domestic chores, that my hand isn’t even burning right now as I hold this pot of soup. Welcome to my kitchen. My name is Holly. Holly Homemaker. Ask Joy: This question is from a 27 year old single male who deeply values the fact that his mom stayed home to raise him. He wants the same thing for his kids, but doesn’t want to …
I had always heard about this “Mike Foster” character but was finally Twitterduced through our mutual friend and creative mastermind, Jeff Shinabarger. Jeff had seen my video on fantasy and thought the message of grace I proposed was something Mike would be interested in checking out. Mike is a passionate, driven man and the co-founder of an organization called People Of The Second Chance (or “POTSC” in some remote regions). After a recent inspiring chat with Ashley from POTSC we decided the messages of Love …
I made the mistake of asking my friend, Val to do a guest post for me. Why you ask? Because she is an incredible writer and chose to re-open my wounds to the world. Thanks, Val. OK, I am being slightly dramatic, but it was weird how quickly her writing took me back to that place of pain I was in when we met. I was however, comforted to see how in the midst of my brokenness, when I felt I had nothing to give, …
Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Introduction Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #1 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #2 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #3 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #4 Question My boyfriend (or girlfriend) has issues with me being friends with this particular person of the opposite sex. How should I handle it? My Response P.S. Here was yesterday’s Facebook preview for today’s post thanks to our video guy having too much time on his hands and too much …
Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Introduction Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #1 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #2 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #3 Caveat corner: Do not read my words below and use them as an excuse to open an unhealthy door you know you shouldn’t. In my work I’ve found that it’s often the people who need to be separated from their exes who are the ones finding all the excuses in the world to BE friends with their …
First of all, I titled this post. I’m guessing Renea would never end a sentence with the word “at” or use a double question mark. She’s far too classy. I’ve asked Renea to write about her experience at a Love and Respect conference. Why? Because I urge all my friends to go to a conference, REGARDLESS of their status. And I think you should too. Yes, it’s entitled a “marriage” conference, but doctors don’t start performing surgery without going to med school, right? So, if …
I’ve had an interesting revelation lately. When I’m injured, I’m reminded I am single. Natural correlation, right? Injured tailbone, foot, and now shoulder. Back-to-back-to-back. Everything was bearable but enough pain to keep me from biking much at all this summer. And sitting? Couldn’t do much of that for a month. As I was walking to church in a sling a couple Sundays ago, I started thinking about how I want to remember this feeling of “not having any help.” Sure, I have tons of wonderful friends (thanks, …
Book Review: The Male Factor by Stephanie Dost As a young woman, I find that love is something that comes naturally to me. Check. Respect, on the other hand, is something I have to work on. Lucky for me, I work with mostly middle-aged men and have a close relationship with my dad, so I get to practice all the time. Recently, I decided to read a book by Shaunti Feldhahn called “The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in …
This summer I attended what I imagine business people calling a “power lunch.” I was invited by the core team of 4-Word women. All the other women were in their work attire, and I showed up with my bike helmet. Oops. One of the incredible women I met was Stephanie. Thanks to my helmet in tow, I found out she also loves to ride. We set out on our bikes one day after work and found ourselves in Camas, Washington breaking for dinner at the fantastic Twilight …
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