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I have a question about the delineation between dependence and assistance. For me, I have always done better when I have a romantic relationship to motivate (inspire?) me to do better.
You need to read this guest post.
Fritz Ridenour is a well respected man in the world of literature, but he has also become a close family friend and father figure to my dad. Though Fritz has helped edit most of my father’s books, theirs is unlike any editor/author relationship I’ve ever seen.
We’ve finally come to the finish line of the What I Know Now series, a collection of little videos I made with my parents in celebration of The Illumination Project launch. My mom and pop have been sharing some nuggets of wisdom they’ve learned from different stages of their lives.
In case you’re just joining us, we’re in the last leg of the What I Know Now series.
As The Illumination Project (a 6-week study) was released this month, one of the main points I try to drive home is for all of us to seek wise counsel. So this series is another example of doing that—I ask my parents to share what they would tell themselves at different life stages. We’ve heard some great stories from when they were single and when they were newlyweds and now…
…when they became my parents. (AKA, the best years of their lives)
In case you’re just tuning in, we’re smack dab in the middle of the What I Know Now series. My hope for all these parental interviews is to highlight the importance of asking questions and seeking counsel—we have so much to learn from those who’ve gone before us.
Think of it as an echo of The Illumination Project song, an opening band to the main show, a slice of apple pie before the main course.
Friendlings, if you’ve been around the site for the past week, you should know two things:
1. The Illumination Project has launched! My baby, born!
2. We are smack dab in the middle of the What I Know Now series, starring none other than my wonderful (and often hilarious) parentals.
In light of one of the themes behind The Illumination Project—the importance of seeking counsel—I’ve brought in the ‘rents to talk all things wisdom.
They are, after all, older and wiser.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing some interviews I did with my mom and pop about what they would tell themselves at different stages of their lives—as singles, as newlyweds, as new parents.
Did you hear the good news?! The Illumination Project has officially launched! Don’t know what I’m talking about?! You may be living under a rock!
Lucky for you, the party is just getting started and even rock-dwellers are welcome.
Lately my siblings and I have really been feeling neglected and unloved by our parents. When we’ve asked other people whether or not to confront them about it, everyone has said, “No. You have to honor your parents.”
Can you confront your parents? Read more
I’m writing on behalf of my sister. She’s been in a serious relationship for about a year, but she’s paralyzed by the fear of getting married as a result of growing up in a divorced home. What can I say to my sister to calm her down and help her overcome her anxiety?
Which should come first, love or respect?
A lot of you are just joining Love and Respect Now for the first time. To which I say, welcome! And also, I hope you like unicorns.
Even if you’re not new, I thought we would do a little flashback in case you missed this series I did answering questions on the topic of respect. This particular question deals with fearing the word respect—the series continues on to eventually be a conversation between me and a group of dudes talking…and not talking…for hours. (Name that movie.)
Recently I was on Facebook and saw this post from my friend, Annie. It was the opposite of many people’s typical pet-peeve status updates.
Wise words today from my friend, Guy Chmieleski. Growing up, I wonder if when he would hear people say, “You guys!” he would turn around and think everyone else in the crowd had his name?
Did I just make a dad joke?
Fellow Portlander Emily is comin’ at you live today with two things we couldn’t agree on more:
1. Our need to launch our rap careers
2. Assuming the best (ATB)
What I call “ATB” Emily calls “No Negative Generalizations,” and my parents call it “Assume Goodwill.” And eventually, I will just come on stage and start all my raps with “Yo, let’s ATB all up in heeeeeaaa!”
Most of the time, I hear “respect” talked about as if it’s primarily a man’s thing. But, respect is really important to me, as a woman–I know this because of the inner temper-tantrum I feel whenever I feel disrespected. I don’t just mean respect in a sexual sense (in fact, that’s the least of my worries). I crave respect as an adult, as a professional and as a Christian. Read more
It’s not every day a magazine interview that is supposed to last 30-ish minutes ends up going 2 hours and subsequent plans are made to meet the interviewer the following week in L.A.
(Man, I wish I was about to tell you the interviewer was a dude!)
I just finished reading “Love & Respect”—I am a single woman who has been broken up from a significant other for a year. We were talking of marriage before the break up. In the relationship, I thought he was being a little too sensitive the times when he’d ask me to sit with him and watch a movie that I had absolutely no interest in watching, so I would refuse, or when he would want me to sit in his kitchen with him and watch him cook, though I preferred to watch television instead. Sometimes I gave in, but other times, when I refused, he would get quiet on me and not talk to me. Read more
I had a fight with my husband tonight and I’m at a total loss for knowing what to do now. Essentially, what happened was this…He’s much better with computers than I am so I asked him for help with an issue I was having with ours. After giving me his advice, I asked him if he was sure and then continued with more clarifying questions. He got really annoyed and shot back, “It’s simple enough for a 3rd grader to do.” So, then I shot back with some remarks, including a parallel to the way his father is–which didn’t go over so well. In the end, he said, “You’re always right. I’m always wrong,” and then he just shut down. This always happens when we argue. So, what do I do? Read more
I have an Ask Joy question for you. Can you do a blog post about guys that actually step up and clearly ask girls out (via the phone), pick them up, open the car door, pay for everything, drop them off, walk them to the door, call a few days later to go on a second date….and then the girls tell their friends they aren’t sure if it was a date or not? We have a spreading disease in my city. Read more
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 3 months. He says he’s committed to me, but he won’t say he loves me, even though he wants to. He was in a previous relationship for 6 years so I understand he wants to be cautious and take it slow. But, c’mon…if he says he wants to say it but doesn’t say it, doesn’t that mean he doesn’t love me? Read more
My girlfriend and I have been in each other’s lives for four years. We dated my senior year in high school, dated for two years, and then broke up. Later, after we broke up, she became a follower of Christ and being agnostic myself was interested in her faith. I started going to church with her and after a couple months I accepted Christ too. After awhile we started dating again and it’s been almost a year.
Ok, I promise I will only pull that joke once. No, no, I’m not getting married.
I’M HAVING A BABY!
Still not funny? Read more
My father wrote a book called Love and Respect, based on Ephesians 5:33, which says, “Let each of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Many women often ask me, “What does respect look like?” Many men say they don’t know how to articulate what respect looks like to them. From personal experience, I’ve come to realize that many of us have really unhealthy ideas of what respecting a man or needing respect looks like. Read more
When I was in college, my parents sold my childhood home (and all of my childhood dreams) when they moved to Grand Rapids, Michigan. Though it’s only an hour away from where I grew up, the news still threw me for a loop. Read more