Stay Connected
Don't leave just yet. Besides these articles, sometimes I send out extra special stuff. Don't miss out. Sign up here.
Ask Joy: Can guys and girls be friends? My Response: Well, there are approximately one million ways I could answer this question, so let’s kick off a “Friends” series, shall we? Questions: Do you think there is an answer to this question? Has this been a question in your own life? How did you answer? Coming up in this series: I like Sally, she doesn’t like me. Can we be friends? Sally likes me, and I don’t like her. Can we be friends? We are …
First of all, I titled this post. I’m guessing Renea would never end a sentence with the word “at” or use a double question mark. She’s far too classy. I’ve asked Renea to write about her experience at a Love and Respect conference. Why? Because I urge all my friends to go to a conference, REGARDLESS of their status. And I think you should too. Yes, it’s entitled a “marriage” conference, but doctors don’t start performing surgery without going to med school, right? So, if …
Ask Joy Is the right thing at the wrong time actually the wrong thing? My Response The video below was part of, what I affectionately call, my Paddle Board Series, shot spontaneously by my brother while I was in Michigan. Now, weeks after the shoot, I can’t shake this question; the more I contemplate it, the more different scenarios play out in my mind. Just a few that could fall under the “right thing, wrong time” umbrella include, the other person is: married; lives across …
Guys: Since we know there may be varying opinions due to different personalities, I thought it might be good to directly ask you this question so you could shed some light for our female readers. It’s along the lines of the question I answered a few weeks ago in an Ask Joy Video. (See video here: Part One & Part Two) Ask Joy I met an amazing man last month who I really like a lot! How do I let him know I’m interested in …
Ask Joy How do I know if I’ve heard from God before entering into a relationship? My Response (Note: We shot these very last minute before I left Michigan. We didn’t do a sound check hence the poor audio. However, my brother IS a fantastic videographer and I am so grateful for his help when I am home in the mitten state. Check out his site: Motivity Pictures) Questions Does waiting to hear from God ever paralyze you from making decisions? Do you even incorporate God …
This summer I attended what I imagine business people calling a “power lunch.” I was invited by the core team of 4-Word women. All the other women were in their work attire, and I showed up with my bike helmet. Oops. One of the incredible women I met was Stephanie. Thanks to my helmet in tow, I found out she also loves to ride. We set out on our bikes one day after work and found ourselves in Camas, Washington breaking for dinner at the fantastic Twilight …
Ask Joy I met this guy and I have a big crush on him, but I know the Bible says that men are supposed to pursue women. So should I just give up on my crush? Should I just drop it? Who Pursues? Part 1 My Response I think that fear is at the root of why we deny our desire to pursue or be pursued. Question What has been your experience? Men: What prevents you from pursuing? Women: What motivates you to pursue?
First: This picture kills me. Partly because she looks like she just turned seven years old, and partly because my face is indicative of events that would follow 4.28 minutes later. This was taken the first week at a place in Switzerland called L’abri. Erin talked me into sledding down the side of an alp and 4.19 minutes later I thought it would be a good idea to sled…STANDING UP. 4.28 minutes later I had broken my ankle. Little did I know my photo face would …
Ask Joy How do you handle the “I can’t believe you’re still single!” comments from people? I think they mean well, but it’s still discouraging. My Response This statement is usually said to me at weddings. And I generally respond with, “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER! Thanks for affirming my fear that I smell like cheese and will die alone!” Then I try to give some grace as I remind myself that most people filter life through their own stories. They got married young. They …
Ask Joy Is it normal that I am _____ years old, and never dated? My Response “Normal” is subjective. Maybe you’ve: 1) Never dated. 2) Haven’t dated in ten years. 3) Your only date consisted of your cousin being forced to take you to your senior prom in your Uncle Fred’s mint Toyota Tercel. It’s normal to feel not normal. Especially when what we long for seems to be magnified in everyone else’s life. When you desire to be in relationship, EVERYONE is in relationship. Even the …
Ask Joy Can you be sexual without having sex? I mean, as a single twentysomething Christian, how can one abstain from sex but still not completely shut down their sexuality? Any thoughts? Thanks! My Response Yes! We are sexual beings through and through. Our sexuality must be more than just sex, but it will look different for everyone. Abstaining should not mean denying how we were created. Once we can separate our sexuality from just sex, I think we are free to discuss this in …
Don’t shed a tear because it’s the final “Monday-One-Day”. You can always re-watch Parts 1 & 2 every single day until YouTube implodes. The One: Part 1 – “Is There Only One” The One: Part 2 – “How Do I Know?” In Part 3 I will tackle how I have felt called to respond when it feels like there is NO-one. So what do you think?
Ask Joy I’m turning 30 soon and I am single. All of my close relationships are with couples. Ideally I would love to be in a community where men and women, older and younger, married and single, connect. But because it seems as though my friends have just kind of accepted me as the single girl, no one seems interested or available to help connect me with any single men. Am I expecting too much from my close friends? My Response I admire that you …
Ask Joy #1 A guy who has come to my church’s college group only twice has asked me out on a date. Is it ideal for me to go out with him and get to know him, or is it too soon? My Response If he wears a ski mask and/or has a hook for a hand, yes…it’s too soon. There is nothing right or wrong with this situation; however, you may want to ask yourself a few questions and pray for discernment. 1) Do …
Ask Joy I am a 20-year-old woman, in school, working part-time, and dancing every day. I am completely happy with myself, inside and out. The only thing I feel is missing in my life is a relationship. I’ve actually never been in a relationship. I date, but it falls through every time. I keep searching for this “spark” or connection and seem to be having trouble finding it. I know I don’t need a guy to make me happy, but I still want to find …
It is truly an honor to be posting on the Imago Dei Women’s blog. I have attended for five years now and have been deeply fed and transformed by the community I call my church home. What Do I Know? I recently attended Imago’s marriage forum—as an unmarried person. Thankfully, there was a big chunk of other singles attending as well. And no, we weren’t there to hit on each other. I hope. Although, I won’t lie; there was a guy in the singles breakout …
Ask Joy I have this friend. He is my best friend. We write music together, build websites together, and do cooking shows together. We’ve been friends for three years. I’ve started developing strong feelings for him. I don’t know if I should have these feelings. I am really attracted to his heart and to him, but I don’t know if he likes me. I am keeping quiet about it. I want him to start it because he is the man and I think the guy …
Ask Joy Why do nice guys always finish last? I would love to be in a relationship, but I’m known as the “nice guy.” I’m always more like a brother than a boyfriend. Most of my female friends are much more attracted to “bad boys” because there is a sense of danger, which I hear is attractive to women. Do women ever grow out of that feeling, or am I doomed to “always be the groomsman, never the groom”? My Response Thank you …
Ask Joy I have friends that have had both great as well as horror stories with Internet dating sites. (i.e. scams, just wanting a hook-up, etc.) What are the positives and the negatives of Internet dating? My Answer The last stat I read was that 40 million Americans are on dating websites. One positive would be the large pool to choose from…should you be open to putting your roots down in South Dakota. Honestly though, I think when people question or freak out about dating …
I realize that my generation resists anything that is “3 steps to ________.” It seems too “packaged” or “consumeristic.” My apologies. In thinking about the things I have learned while being single, I wrote some of them down. This created a list. That list happened to consist of three things. Are you seeing the natural progression? Next time I will let my post be more “organic” and “holistic.” Then we can dialogue. But back to my list… 1) Work at being content, even when you …
It feels like many people I talk to have already given their heart away once. And for those who haven’t, they are scared to open that door because of the pain they have seen their friends endure. With an increasing delay of marriage and an increase of serious relationships prior, I believe our generation is going to relate on the topic of “lost loves” far more than past generations. Something that can be tempting to create an identity around. Let me explain… Many of us …
First you may want to read…
Singleness and the Church: A Helping Hand May Help.
Singleness and the Church: Part II
Continuation from Friday’s Singleness and the Church: BELIEF…and the Satisfied Single.
First you may want to read…
Singleness and the Church: A Helping Hand May Help.
You should probably read this first: PART I (if you don’t, your computer will implode…)
Speaking on singleness is not something that makes me jump up and click my heels together. I enjoy talking about relationships…broken or functioning…but staring at singleness right in the face is not my idea of fun.
Small State of the Union:
Because of my propensity to dogmatism, I tend to shy away from God-talk or anything that sounds like I’m trying to be holier than I know I really am. In my desire to not fall into legalism or pietism or any other ism that would put me in a sometimes disliked category of “Christian,” I choose my words carefully.
Sometimes.
48