Hierarchy.
This word immediately makes me envision a hairy man seated on a throne wearing red fur and a pinky ring. I also hear him saying in the voice of Brian Regan, “Bring me the head of a pig and a goblet of something cool and refreshing!”
So as you can imagine, when I saw that my father had a chapter in his book Love and Respect titled “Hierarchy,” I almost wet my pants.
Do you want to get the Love and Respect Now magical unicorn crest tattooed on your bicep as much as I do? I thought so…
Josh Chang is the man behind that amazement. A dear Portland friend, Josh and his wife, Amber, have poured into me through their time and servant hearts. For over two years, Amber edited all of my terrrrrible grammar in most of the things I wrote. (If you find an error, it’s because I didn’t send it to her… Also, she often deleted the million ellipses that I wanted to use…all…the…time…) Read more
I liked Bianca the first time I met her, but she blew me away when I recently spent more time at Catalyst watching her in her element. Getting to be interviewed by her as well as having the privilege of being on a panel with her and Mr. Leonce Crump was a blast and an incredible learning moment.
I just wanted to drop you a line and maybe help a few guys out. I’ve noticed an increase in the times I’ve gotten asked out, and it’s been entirely over text messaging or Facebook. Why? If a guy is lazy in the beginning of the relationship, there’s a pretty good chance there won’t be much improvement later on. So, Joy, if you could pass this out to the men out there and give them a heads up that this is NOT what girls typically like to see, it might turn on a few lightbulbs. Read more
You know those people you know, but you don’t know, but you kinda do know?
Sharaya is one of those people.
One day I was in Nashville meeting friends for lunch and as I walked in I thought, “I know that waitress! Kind of…“
Which always moves me to a mental jog of Facebook stalking: Read more
I’ve been dating a guy that I met on a dating site for 4 months now. I recently noticed he is still active on the site and is still signing in to check it daily.
I first heard Josh White speak more than five years ago when I attended a 6 AM Bible study he was leading. If Christianity worked on a gold-star system, …6 AM Bible studies should deserve at least 72 stars. Fast-forward a number of years, and Josh and his adorable family decide to plant a church called Door of Hope just six blocks from my house. Josh is not only a pastor, but he is also a recording artist, so the church is chock-full of people …
Hi, Joy!
Recently I was talking to this guy and everything was going well. We had planned a date and everything. Out of nowhere, he just disappeared and blocked me on Facebook. Can you give guys advice on that? They cannot just disappear. They have to tell the girl they are not into them. I don’t think this is even a godly reaction. He is not putting the other person’s feelings before his. Please post on Facebook because he is on the Love and Respect Now page.
—Annie
I think I learned a lesson from The Bachelorette. Yes, I hate to admit that, but I think I did. Don’t get me wrong. I think the show is ludicrous, and it often makes me want to dry heave. (See this post from two years ago to get my exact sentiments on The Bachelor.) I’ve always seen the last few episodes of each season with friends who are engrossed in the show, which I lovingly refer to as “The Case for Polygamy.” They get annoyed with my …
I first heard Josh Hoke sing at my friend Annie’s house show last year. He and Annie did a duet and I was like, “Oh hello magical voices.” A fellow Portland dweller, mid-west native and former pastor’s kid, Josh and I have a few things in common. I’d like to add “and we are both musically gifted” but apparently playing the upright bass in 7th & 8th grade doesn’t qualify me for that title. Pumped to have you hear this guy’s voice. Ladies, don’t stumble. “I …
Ask Joy: Hi, Joy, What is your opinion on cross-cultural relationships? —Derek My Response: Hey, Derek, Good question. My opinion on cross-cultural relationships is that they will pose unique obstacles that will cause the couple to ask many questions, one being, “Is it worth it?” You might be able to figure out if it’s worth it by asking the more specific question: “Do we want to understand both cultures to possibly create a home life someday that would embody traditions and characteristics that each of …
Ask Joy: Today’s question actually comes from a guy named Paul, who I like to call “Sweet Paul.” Paul wrote and said, “Hey, Joy, if you’re such an expert on relationships and marriage, why is it that you’re still not married?” My Response: I want to be open and honest with everyone about why I’m not married. I don’t mean to blame my brother, Jonathan, but it is his fault… Questions How do you respond internally to the question of why you are still single? …
Ask Joy I have a crush on my friend, but since we’ve been friends for so long, I don’t know how to say that my feelings have changed. I don’t want to ruin the friendship, so what should I do? My Response The “Ask Joy” above is a shortened version of many similar questions I have received. Men and women all at one point or another seem to find themselves with a friend who was always “just a friend”—who now suddenly looks a little different. …
Ask Joy I want to build a solid foundation of a relationship, but I don’t want to overwhelm a man with my emotions. My Response I first want to say that I don’t like that women get a rap for being overly emotional. I think both men and women were designed with strong feelings and sensitivities and emotions. But where we can see general differences is oftentimes in how women process their emotions, and how men process their emotions… Questions Have you ever experienced your …
Ask Joy: Hi, Joy, I’ve been dating someone for five years now, and he used to be married before, but his wife cheated on him, and he is divorced. He’s an amazing, God-fearing, caring, smart, and handsome man. But he has problems with anger… …even when we have small arguments, he’d always scream and then apologize. He has even raised his hands on me a few times, too. Just this week we had an argument in the car and he got really mad and hit …
Ask Joy Hey, Joy! So I am a strong and outgoing woman. I am not a shy person at all! When it comes to the relationship area, people are very inquisitive, and they all have opinions as soon as they find out I’m single. I have many friends who bemoan the fact that they are single and will jump at any chance to flirt. I think something might be wrong with me. All I do is make jokes about never getting married and say things …
Ask Joy I just got finished watching your “The One” series. I am currently in a relationship with an amazing man who loves the Lord and who loves me in good times and in bad. His love is so deep it’s almost crazy. I feel like I love him but not to the depth that he loves me. It makes me very anxious. I don’t want to marry someone I don’t love enough, but I also don’t want to lose this love. I’m on board …
Ask Joy Emotional and physical issues get ninety-nine percent of the attention when it comes to talking about relationships, but what do you think about spiritual intimacy inside a dating relationship? Do you think the sky is the limit, or should we save some spiritual intimacy to be enjoyed for the first time as a married couple? As an example, I think communion taken as a couple should be done as man and wife, not boyfriend and girlfriend. But that’s just personal preference; I have …
Many of you have spoken or written to me about your fears of relationships, which have often been caused by the unhealthy examples you have seen modeled around you. Many of you, like me, have experienced deep relational pain. Many of you, like my parents, come from broken and unstable childhood homes. Your sincerity in asking, “How can I heal from all these wounds?” or, “How can I not do what my parents did?” always puts a passion in my heart because I desire that …
Ask Joy What is an ideal first date? My Response I was recently asked this question when speaking to a group of students at the College of William & Mary, and then a couple of guys have asked similar questions this week. Men, give yourself a hearty slap on the back for wanting to know what an ideal date would be for a woman, but, as I said to the guy at William & Mary, “I can’t speak for all women, but, off the top …
Today I have asked one of my best friends to share her thoughts on marriage and “being in love” based on a conversation we had this fall when we went camping. Yes, we went camping. Yes, it was just the two of us. And yes, I laid awake all night holding onto my pellet gun and an unsheathed knife. We were not alone. Outside of our camping fails, Lisa is one of my wisest friends. I love the way she thinks and the logic in …
Oh, hello! I’m just wafting the aroma of this soup I’ve been slaving over all day long. I’m so skilled at domestic chores, that my hand isn’t even burning right now as I hold this pot of soup. Welcome to my kitchen. My name is Holly. Holly Homemaker. Ask Joy: This question is from a 27 year old single male who deeply values the fact that his mom stayed home to raise him. He wants the same thing for his kids, but doesn’t want to …
If you are reading this on Valentine’s Day morning, then my guess is you are probably at work and avoiding the actual work that… AAAHHHHHHH! Your boss is standing right behind you! And you are reading something about making love! OK, so that was awkward. So now it’s noon, and you were so impressed with my psychic skills from earlier this morning that you are now in your car eating a PB&J (or Hot Pocket since you sometimes get crazy on holidays) and reading my …
Today you can read my “love story” in a guest post I did for my friend, Diane. Diane is the Director of Women’s Ministry for a local church here in Portland. She is also, among other things, a pastor’s wife, mother and beautiful writer. My mother and I solidified a bond of friendship with Diane and her daughter Elizabeth when we spoke at their church’s women’s retreat a couple summers ago. It was an honor, a blast and a lot of estrogen. My friend – who …
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