Wise words today from my friend, Guy Chmieleski. Growing up, I wonder if when he would hear people say, “You guys!” he would turn around and think everyone else in the crowd had his name?
Did I just make a dad joke?
Hey, Joy!
I just finished reading “Love & Respect”—I am a single woman who has been broken up from a significant other for a year. We were talking of marriage before the break up. In the relationship, I thought he was being a little too sensitive the times when he’d ask me to sit with him and watch a movie that I had absolutely no interest in watching, so I would refuse, or when he would want me to sit in his kitchen with him and watch him cook, though I preferred to watch television instead. Sometimes I gave in, but other times, when I refused, he would get quiet on me and not talk to me. Read more
I had a fight with my husband tonight and I’m at a total loss for knowing what to do now. Essentially, what happened was this…He’s much better with computers than I am so I asked him for help with an issue I was having with ours. After giving me his advice, I asked him if he was sure and then continued with more clarifying questions. He got really annoyed and shot back, “It’s simple enough for a 3rd grader to do.” So, then I shot back with some remarks, including a parallel to the way his father is–which didn’t go over so well. In the end, he said, “You’re always right. I’m always wrong,” and then he just shut down. This always happens when we argue. So, what do I do? Read more
Hi, Joy!
My girlfriend and I have been in each other’s lives for four years. We dated my senior year in high school, dated for two years, and then broke up. Later, after we broke up, she became a follower of Christ and being agnostic myself was interested in her faith. I started going to church with her and after a couple months I accepted Christ too. After awhile we started dating again and it’s been almost a year.
We had wedding bells ring this month for one of our interns (it’s one of the pre-requisites to being on the team). We were so excited to hear about Julie’s wedding plans and when I found out how she and her fiancé (now husband) were working against the typical western wedding grain, I told her that they needed to share with you all.
Listen up, folks! Read more
We attended a Love and Respect conference in Chicago 5 years ago and it changed our lives. It gave us the tools to make our great marriage even better.
Now, we’re planning to go through the Love and Respect DVD series with our young adult Bible study and we’d like your advice on how to best lead it when there are people in all seasons of life in the group–single, dating, engaged, and married.
Hello my friendlings,
For all of you who have a case of the winter blues, take heart, because things are about to change. Spring is on its way. And you know what this season brings? Hay fever. Read more
Friends,
More and more people are finally talking about the neurological impacts of porn and the way it affects our ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy. I hope you see the relational impact it’s having on all of us—not only are we affected in our single, dating, and married life, but our children will be impacted, too. So much so that Iceland is considering banning pornography from their Internet all together.
Ok, I promise I will only pull that joke once. No, no, I’m not getting married.
I’M HAVING A BABY!
Still not funny? Read more
If you are a female that shuts down [in conflict], what would be practical advice or a step to take to head towards healing? Read more
A little history on Lesley: we bonded in college over a WWII project in our Public Discourse class. Our group created an interactive experience where our peers could emotionally engage in different aspects of the war—the London bombings, Nazi gas chambers, families receiving news of soldiers killed and the atrocity of the atomic bomb. You know, light stuff like that.
Our goal was for people to “never forget” and I’m pretty sure our class never did. Read more
When I was in college, my parents sold my childhood home (and all of my childhood dreams) when they moved to Grand Rapids, Michigan. Though it’s only an hour away from where I grew up, the news still threw me for a loop. Read more
When I used to direct my parent’s Love and Respect conferences, I would always hear the phrase, “If only I knew then, what I know now.” There is so much we can learn from hearing the stories and wisdom of those who have done marriage and relationships longer than us. Though everyone’s stories will be different, and while I don’t think there’s a formula to fit everyone’s definition of success, I believe we will all be the wiser for listening to what Trisha Davis has to say about her journey with Justin these first 17 years of marriage.
Last week, we started talking about the word “hierarchy.” Let’s face it, the word just sounds big and domineering, not to mention I feel like I’m dislocating my jaw when I say it out loud.
But before we completely write it off, let’s remember where we left off in Part 1: most men, I’ve discovered, have an innate sense of responsibility when it comes to protecting women. And women, instead of getting offended or discouraged, could benefit from adapting to an attitude of gratitude toward the intentions of these good men.
Hierarchy.
This word immediately makes me envision a hairy man seated on a throne wearing red fur and a pinky ring. I also hear him saying in the voice of Brian Regan, “Bring me the head of a pig and a goblet of something cool and refreshing!”
So as you can imagine, when I saw that my father had a chapter in his book Love and Respect titled “Hierarchy,” I almost wet my pants.
Hannah and I have a long history of friendship. And by long history, I mean we’ve had a few hours of in-person face time. I was at Catalyst, and my friend Jeff said, “Hey, you need to meet my friend Hannah.” Jeff is either really good at knowing who will hit it off or just gifted at figuring out how to ditch me,
…but, whatever his motivation, it worked.
Hannah and I sat in a corner, literally almost eyeball to eyeball, and talked for about three hours straight. Her boyfriend stopped by our conversation when we apparently
If you combined the articulation and factual knowledge of a news anchor, the sarcasm and one-liners of your old crotchety neighbor, and the sass of a thirteen year old female into one, you would get my friend Anna. And that was just my first impression of her when we met at age 18. She got up in front of our freshman leadership class and gave a presentation with no trace of nerves, or reserve, for that matter. I was like, “who is this girl?! I like her.”
Years later she’s still bringing her knowledge and sass to the world and to the web.
Please welcome, my friend Anna, to the Illumination Project.
Ask Joy: Hi, Joy, What is your opinion on cross-cultural relationships? —Derek My Response: Hey, Derek, Good question. My opinion on cross-cultural relationships is that they will pose unique obstacles that will cause the couple to ask many questions, one being, “Is it worth it?” You might be able to figure out if it’s worth it by asking the more specific question: “Do we want to understand both cultures to possibly create a home life someday that would embody traditions and characteristics that each of …
Ask Joy: Hi, Joy, I’ve been dating someone for five years now, and he used to be married before, but his wife cheated on him, and he is divorced. He’s an amazing, God-fearing, caring, smart, and handsome man. But he has problems with anger… …even when we have small arguments, he’d always scream and then apologize. He has even raised his hands on me a few times, too. Just this week we had an argument in the car and he got really mad and hit …
Ask Joy Hey, Joy! So I am a strong and outgoing woman. I am not a shy person at all! When it comes to the relationship area, people are very inquisitive, and they all have opinions as soon as they find out I’m single. I have many friends who bemoan the fact that they are single and will jump at any chance to flirt. I think something might be wrong with me. All I do is make jokes about never getting married and say things …
Ask Joy I just got finished watching your “The One” series. I am currently in a relationship with an amazing man who loves the Lord and who loves me in good times and in bad. His love is so deep it’s almost crazy. I feel like I love him but not to the depth that he loves me. It makes me very anxious. I don’t want to marry someone I don’t love enough, but I also don’t want to lose this love. I’m on board …
Today I have asked one of my best friends to share her thoughts on marriage and “being in love” based on a conversation we had this fall when we went camping. Yes, we went camping. Yes, it was just the two of us. And yes, I laid awake all night holding onto my pellet gun and an unsheathed knife. We were not alone. Outside of our camping fails, Lisa is one of my wisest friends. I love the way she thinks and the logic in …
Ask Joy: Recently, one of you wrote in – anonymously – asking what I want in a man. My Response: I was going to pass on this Ask Joy, and then thought, I might as well capitalize on my site and use it to find a man. Boo-ya. To watch the rest of my aforementioned e-Harmony video, click HERE. Question: What is your equivalent of my beard requirement? What’s been your shallowest deal breaker?
For those of you who ask what books I recommend, I have one I would like to highlight today. My mother’s close friend Marilyn Hontz has written an excellent book on the topic of shame. I want to be clear however: I am not promoting this book because she is my mother’s friend. I am telling you about the book because it is powerful. Through sharing stories of her childhood, Marilyn opens up about how certain small yet significant moments affected her adult life. She …
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