My friend, Esther, introduced me to Tim a couple years ago. Not hearing my name correctly, Tim tried to clear it up by guessing what he thought he heard Esther say.
Tim: “Chalet?”
Me: “What? No…Joy.”
Joy,
I used to be on pins and needles waiting to get married. Every interaction I had with a single person was weighted with, “Is this the ONE?”
But now it’s changed. Read more
I just started dating this wonderful woman—I really care about her, and love the heart she has for having a family someday. Problem is, we just started dating, and because I have to travel a lot for my career, I just left the country for a couple of months.
Hi Joy,
I’ve recently gotten married. I love being married, but now my single friends are leaving me out. My best friend, for example, no longer calls when she goes camping or to a concert.
I know I can’t go out as much as my “free-wheeling” single friends, as I’m balancing school and my husband, but I don’t want to feel like there’s this divide growing between us.
Hey Joy,
I recently met someone. Bummer is, one of us is moving twenty hours away. We have had several discussions about giving this a chance or not.
We are taking that chance!
I wish you could all hang out with my friend, Katie. She’s one of those people who makes you laugh—most of the time without intentionally trying.
I would also like you to meet Katie because she could essentially be called the co-founder of Love and Respect Now.
Wise words today from my friend, Guy Chmieleski. Growing up, I wonder if when he would hear people say, “You guys!” he would turn around and think everyone else in the crowd had his name?
Did I just make a dad joke?
It’s not every day a magazine interview that is supposed to last 30-ish minutes ends up going 2 hours and subsequent plans are made to meet the interviewer the following week in L.A.
(Man, I wish I was about to tell you the interviewer was a dude!)
Hey, Joy!
I just finished reading “Love & Respect”—I am a single woman who has been broken up from a significant other for a year. We were talking of marriage before the break up. In the relationship, I thought he was being a little too sensitive the times when he’d ask me to sit with him and watch a movie that I had absolutely no interest in watching, so I would refuse, or when he would want me to sit in his kitchen with him and watch him cook, though I preferred to watch television instead. Sometimes I gave in, but other times, when I refused, he would get quiet on me and not talk to me. Read more
I had a fight with my husband tonight and I’m at a total loss for knowing what to do now. Essentially, what happened was this…He’s much better with computers than I am so I asked him for help with an issue I was having with ours. After giving me his advice, I asked him if he was sure and then continued with more clarifying questions. He got really annoyed and shot back, “It’s simple enough for a 3rd grader to do.” So, then I shot back with some remarks, including a parallel to the way his father is–which didn’t go over so well. In the end, he said, “You’re always right. I’m always wrong,” and then he just shut down. This always happens when we argue. So, what do I do? Read more
Joy,
I have an Ask Joy question for you. Can you do a blog post about guys that actually step up and clearly ask girls out (via the phone), pick them up, open the car door, pay for everything, drop them off, walk them to the door, call a few days later to go on a second date….and then the girls tell their friends they aren’t sure if it was a date or not? We have a spreading disease in my city. Read more
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 3 months. He says he’s committed to me, but he won’t say he loves me, even though he wants to. He was in a previous relationship for 6 years so I understand he wants to be cautious and take it slow. But, c’mon…if he says he wants to say it but doesn’t say it, doesn’t that mean he doesn’t love me? Read more
Hi, Joy!
My girlfriend and I have been in each other’s lives for four years. We dated my senior year in high school, dated for two years, and then broke up. Later, after we broke up, she became a follower of Christ and being agnostic myself was interested in her faith. I started going to church with her and after a couple months I accepted Christ too. After awhile we started dating again and it’s been almost a year.
I know Blair from the streets. We used to hoop it up on Saturday mornings in our SE Portland hood.
And by hoop it up I mean we would play H.O.R.S.E. or I would run around and try to set picks and do a lot of screaming. Read more
Friends,
More and more people are finally talking about the neurological impacts of porn and the way it affects our ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy. I hope you see the relational impact it’s having on all of us—not only are we affected in our single, dating, and married life, but our children will be impacted, too. So much so that Iceland is considering banning pornography from their Internet all together.
Ok, I promise I will only pull that joke once. No, no, I’m not getting married.
I’M HAVING A BABY!
Still not funny? Read more
A little history on Lesley: we bonded in college over a WWII project in our Public Discourse class. Our group created an interactive experience where our peers could emotionally engage in different aspects of the war—the London bombings, Nazi gas chambers, families receiving news of soldiers killed and the atrocity of the atomic bomb. You know, light stuff like that.
Our goal was for people to “never forget” and I’m pretty sure our class never did. Read more
My old roommate Michelle and I lived together through most of college and then moved to Los Angeles after graduation. During those years in LA, we were pretty inseparable and predictable. We would meet at the gym after work, make dinner, watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and then go for a walk on the beach like two geriatrics. On many of those walks, we’d pray for our future husbands and talk about what they would be like. Read more
My father wrote a book called Love and Respect, based on Ephesians 5:33, which says, “Let each of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Many women often ask me, “What does respect look like?” Many men say they don’t know how to articulate what respect looks like to them. From personal experience, I’ve come to realize that many of us have really unhealthy ideas of what respecting a man or needing respect looks like. Read more
When I was in college, my parents sold my childhood home (and all of my childhood dreams) when they moved to Grand Rapids, Michigan. Though it’s only an hour away from where I grew up, the news still threw me for a loop. Read more
When I used to direct my parent’s Love and Respect conferences, I would always hear the phrase, “If only I knew then, what I know now.” There is so much we can learn from hearing the stories and wisdom of those who have done marriage and relationships longer than us. Though everyone’s stories will be different, and while I don’t think there’s a formula to fit everyone’s definition of success, I believe we will all be the wiser for listening to what Trisha Davis has to say about her journey with Justin these first 17 years of marriage.
How do we (men) even know if they (women) are interested? Women never bring it up in our group of friends, so it makes it hard to tell. Read more
Last week, we started talking about the word “hierarchy.” Let’s face it, the word just sounds big and domineering, not to mention I feel like I’m dislocating my jaw when I say it out loud.
But before we completely write it off, let’s remember where we left off in Part 1: most men, I’ve discovered, have an innate sense of responsibility when it comes to protecting women. And women, instead of getting offended or discouraged, could benefit from adapting to an attitude of gratitude toward the intentions of these good men.
0