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I could not wait until tomorrow to show this to you.
I was overwhelmed by the 1300 of you who showed up on Friday night. For those of you who missed it, here is a highlight reel of the evening.
Hi, Joy!
If guys send you mixed signals, how do you ignore them and not read into them? Ooh, please publish a book soon! Make sure that the UK can get copies, too.
Cheers, babe.
So I have this friend Billy who does not believe in dating. He says there are no examples in the bible to give us grounds for modern dating, therefore what’s the point?
-Nate
Oh Billy, there are also no examples of eating ice cream in the bible, so what’s the point of going to Dairy Queen?
But seriously… Read more
I had never met someone whose heart understands to the same degree the passion and responsibility I feel for my work until Rachel came into my life. From the minute we first chatted on the phone to the all-you-can-eat sushi buffets, our conversations have happened at high speeds, with intensity, lots of nodding, big eyes, and eventual howls of laughter. When our work (God, relationships, and money—oh my!) isn’t being discussed, you might overhear Rachel trying to convince me that Taylor Swift is a legitimate artist.
Formal lunch has nothing to do with lunch or with wearing a tuxedo.
Huh?
I know, I realize it’s a weird title, but it’s what I have decided to call the monthly research project.
Why?
A number of years ago, I lived in a community called, L’Abri. It was a place where you lived in intentional community, worked half the day, and studied half the day.
Ask Joy: Hi, Joy, What is your opinion on cross-cultural relationships? —Derek My Response: Hey, Derek, Good question. My opinion on cross-cultural relationships is that they will pose unique obstacles that will cause the couple to ask many questions, one being, “Is it worth it?” You might be able to figure out if it’s worth it by asking the more specific question: “Do we want to understand both cultures to possibly create a home life someday that would embody traditions and characteristics that each of …
It’s ironic that I have been sitting outside (yes, Portland finally hired the sun to make a late-spring appearance) writing about asking good questions and up skips “Charlotte” with her baby doll. When I asked if it was an infant, she said, “No, it’s a doll.” I like your logic, Charlotte. Charlotte is four, and during the time her mother was changing her little brother’s “poopie,” I learned a number of things about Charlotte. She’s “Four.” She’s “Just playing.” Her brother’s birthday is in June. …
Ask Joy I want to build a solid foundation of a relationship, but I don’t want to overwhelm a man with my emotions. My Response I first want to say that I don’t like that women get a rap for being overly emotional. I think both men and women were designed with strong feelings and sensitivities and emotions. But where we can see general differences is oftentimes in how women process their emotions, and how men process their emotions… Questions Have you ever experienced your …
Outside of having a hyper sensitivity to what I was doing all day Monday and wondering when the next alarm was going to go off (I’ve never gone to the bathroom so quickly) I was pumped by the response for #MMM. I think I could kiss a unicorn. Many thanks to all who participated, and now, the backstory… Recently I was having breakfast with my friends, Shannon and Melissa. Melissa is a N.I. (Non-Instagramer) and we were explaining to her that people now write #nofilter …
Hi Friends, it’s me, Joy and I have some thoughts. Er, well someone smarter than me has some thoughts and I thought I would share those thoughts and you could tell me what you thought, or think, or thew. Coo? Yes, even you creepers who always read and never comment. I want to hear from YOU. Momma’s* watching. Dale S. Kuehne’s book, Sex and the iWorld, (odd title I know, but it makes sense when you read the book) is an interesting proposal of how …
Ask Joy I often hear people ask why so many men still play video games? My Response Let me tell you why people play video games. They’re fun. Questions Maybe it’s not video games, but do you have somewhere you go to find a win? Do you have something you do to “unwind” that’s shifting into a wound-hiding-habit? How can we know when an activity is actually a distraction for dealing with our broken reality?
Ask Joy Emotional and physical issues get ninety-nine percent of the attention when it comes to talking about relationships, but what do you think about spiritual intimacy inside a dating relationship? Do you think the sky is the limit, or should we save some spiritual intimacy to be enjoyed for the first time as a married couple? As an example, I think communion taken as a couple should be done as man and wife, not boyfriend and girlfriend. But that’s just personal preference; I have …
Many of you have spoken or written to me about your fears of relationships, which have often been caused by the unhealthy examples you have seen modeled around you. Many of you, like me, have experienced deep relational pain. Many of you, like my parents, come from broken and unstable childhood homes. Your sincerity in asking, “How can I heal from all these wounds?” or, “How can I not do what my parents did?” always puts a passion in my heart because I desire that …
Ask Joy If the relationships you had didn’t have any major red flags, why did you end them? What made you finally say “this isn’t working” as opposed to working through it? My Response I don’t think that I ever have said that I ended my relationships, and second of all that they didn’t have red flags. I’ve had both. I’ve had relationships that had red flags that I needed to get out of, and other relationships that didn’t have red flags, we just decided, …
One of the themes I see in many of the Ask Joy questions I get is, “How do I…?” or “When should I…?” or “Is it ok if…?” And one of my main goals is… …to not answer. I prefer posing questions to give possible scenarios pointing the asker to a more global answer. I want to push myself and all of us, to think. And that’s what I want to do for those of you who simply see The Hunger Games as one of …
Hello again, for the third time. Can I just say that I absolutely hate this topic? This whole thing that we’re addressing about the words in Scripture that the “husband is the head” and the “wife is to submit.” I absolutely hate this stuff. But I want to address it because I feel like I missed it for so long. I didn’t understand it so I disregarded it. And I think so many of us don’t understand it so we either manipulate it, we miss it …
Ask Joy In the last video I answered a question from a girl who was asking what book she and her fiance should read to prepare for marriage. They believe in mutual submission and love, and don’t agree with the husband being the head and the wife being submissive. And I totally relate with that stuff because those are the passages in scripture that leave me asking, “what in the world does this mean?!” What is this actually saying? My Response I don’t know. I …
Ask Joy My fiance and I are looking for books to read as we prepare for marriage. Do you know of anything that isn’t completely based on the man being the leader and the wife being submissive? We believe in mutual submission and love and it’s hard to find any good resources out there. My Response I really want to get at the heart of your question: what is mutual submission and why are these words in the Bible like the “husband is the head” …
For those of you who ask what books I recommend, I have one I would like to highlight today. My mother’s close friend Marilyn Hontz has written an excellent book on the topic of shame. I want to be clear however: I am not promoting this book because she is my mother’s friend. I am telling you about the book because it is powerful. Through sharing stories of her childhood, Marilyn opens up about how certain small yet significant moments affected her adult life. She …
Paul is a friend from Westmont College. You may remember his face from a guest post I did with him a while back. We have a mutual love of Double Dare, Marc Summers and many other glorious staples of the 90’s. He has a great spin on “the one” topic that I wanted to share with you today. I also hope you will check out his site www.allgroanup.com for some great articles and resources on the topics many “post grads” face today. Paul has written …
Today I am guest posting over at my friend, Preston Yancey’s blog, as part of a series about “the beautiful, mangled Church.” He’s featuring over 50 amazing writers, so be sure to check out the entire conversation, which is entitled At the Lord’s Table. Enjoy! Church: Starring a Simple Cast I respect people who have intellectual reasons for walking away from the church. Not because I agree, but because I can empathize and grapple with questions, too. But then I dig deeper, and usually the …
Hello, and welcome to the Ask Joy fireside chat. Here we are with our blazing flames and just a few close friends. (Actually it’s just me and the camera man.) Ask Joy This question was written in response to a three part series I did on The Art of Asking Questions. This person wanted me to offer some tangible questions to actually ask. So I will do that, because that’s such a great question… My Response Question Do you have any effective question-asking tips you …
Recently I spoke at Belmont University and later that afternoon did an “Ask Joy” session with students. This is probably my favorite aspect of my job. I love hearing from you all through the site, but there’s something about seeing your face, hearing your questions, and then getting to respond to you with an answer that results in you lying on the floor in the fetal position. It’s the BEST! I heart my job and inflicting psychological damage on you all! But, seriously, there were …
To My Unmarried Friends: One of the ways I want you to know that I value you – my generation – is by inviting you to come to a live Love and Respect Conference. My mom always says that God made us male and female, not husband and wife. So even though this is a “marriage conference” you can learn so much about the opposite sex by attending. I want you to be there, and if you can make it, I’ll have a gift waiting …
featuring Rick McKinley “A Kingdom Called Desire” Rick McKinley has been my pastor for the last six years. I greatly respect him, and love his family so much. He’s one of the most levelheaded Christians I know, and has spoken truth into my life over and over again – both from the pulpit and his office when I am having a crisis or two…or three…or four. I wanted to interview him about his most recent book, take you on a tour of Imago, highlight my …
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