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Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Introduction Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #1 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #2 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #3 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #4 Question My boyfriend (or girlfriend) has issues with me being friends with this particular person of the opposite sex. How should I handle it? My Response P.S. Here was yesterday’s Facebook preview for today’s post thanks to our video guy having too much time on his hands and too much …
Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Introduction Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #1 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #2 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #3 Caveat corner: Do not read my words below and use them as an excuse to open an unhealthy door you know you shouldn’t. In my work I’ve found that it’s often the people who need to be separated from their exes who are the ones finding all the excuses in the world to BE friends with their …
Ask Joy: Can guys and girls be friends? My Response: Well, there are approximately one million ways I could answer this question, so let’s kick off a “Friends” series, shall we? Questions: Do you think there is an answer to this question? Has this been a question in your own life? How did you answer? Coming up in this series: I like Sally, she doesn’t like me. Can we be friends? Sally likes me, and I don’t like her. Can we be friends? We are …
Ask Joy A person who wrote in recently found a quote, stating that “a girl’s heart should be so wrapped up in the Lord, that a guy should have to seek Him to find her.” And then she asked me if I agreed with that? My Response Questions Do you think it’s true that you can experience an “intimacy” with the Lord that supercedes anything you can experience with a person? Why or why not? Have you said or heard this quote yourself? How has …
Ask Joy Is the right thing at the wrong time actually the wrong thing? My Response The video below was part of, what I affectionately call, my Paddle Board Series, shot spontaneously by my brother while I was in Michigan. Now, weeks after the shoot, I can’t shake this question; the more I contemplate it, the more different scenarios play out in my mind. Just a few that could fall under the “right thing, wrong time” umbrella include, the other person is: married; lives across …
Ask Joy I finally decided to sign up for E-Harmony. It took a lot of courage. I want to know your thoughts on online match sites. I am still very apprehensive about the whole thing. P.S. I am a teacher, and our school mascot is the unicorn. My Response Question How can you bring community into your online dating experience, and not become isolated? Didn’t catch the series that I referenced about asking questions? Start HERE
Book Review: The Male Factor by Stephanie Dost As a young woman, I find that love is something that comes naturally to me. Check. Respect, on the other hand, is something I have to work on. Lucky for me, I work with mostly middle-aged men and have a close relationship with my dad, so I get to practice all the time. Recently, I decided to read a book by Shaunti Feldhahn called “The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in …
Ask Joy I have a friend who is currently dating someone who is not a Christ follower. She knows I disapprove and, because of this, I haven’t really talked to her in months because I don’t want to hear about their relationship. Am I wrong in not speaking to her? I don’t know how to be a friend without her thinking I’m OK with them dating. My Response It’s good that you are trying to figure out how to be her friend; however, not …
This summer I attended what I imagine business people calling a “power lunch.” I was invited by the core team of 4-Word women. All the other women were in their work attire, and I showed up with my bike helmet. Oops. One of the incredible women I met was Stephanie. Thanks to my helmet in tow, I found out she also loves to ride. We set out on our bikes one day after work and found ourselves in Camas, Washington breaking for dinner at the fantastic Twilight …
With my recent trip to Oxford, I have had C.S. Lewis on the brain. I want to continue the conversation inspired by his writings in Mere Christianity, and would love to hear your take on “the thrill.” Part II: The Thrill People get from books the idea that if you have married the right person you may expect to go on ‘being in love’ forever. As a result, when they find they are not, they think this proves they have made a mistake and are …
How do I forgive people who have INTENTIONALLY hurt me? Made me suffer? How do I forgive evil? Will they get what they deserve? God will bring justice. Right? “Lord, help me to want to forgive.” This was the bold prayer of my friend who grew up with parents who were in a cult. They subjected her to every type of sexual and sadistic abuse you can think of. This friend came to mind during two lectures I heard during my recent trip to Oxford. …
Hi Friends, I mentioned earlier this week that my father, Emerson Eggerichs was in town recently and I had a couple post-RSOTU questions for him. He had barely finished grabbing his luggage from baggage claim, when I pulled out the camera and asked for his thoughts. He rolled with it; I think he’s getting used to me… The first topic I addressed was: “In relationship, HOW does a woman practically and tangibly show respect?” Today’s question: “What do you say to guys who get all …
Hi Friends, Many of you have written in questions asking about the topic of respect, so I did a series called the Respect State of The Union (better known as #RSOTU on Twitter). In that series of 15 videos, I answered 10 questions, and then talked with a group of guys about their thoughts on respect. Many of you enjoyed the series and my hope was that it started the ball rolling for us to talk about this touchy topic more. I personally had some …
I recently joined 4Word – a group of amazing women who are committed to supporting each other in balancing career and relationships in light of their faith. I was honored when founder, Diane Paddison invited me to do an interview for their blog, which you can read today… Interview: Joy Eggerichs Joy Eggerichs is a blogger, writer, researcher on relationships, sister, new aunt, and daughter of parents who write and speak about marriage. When directing the conferences for her parents’ ministry, Love and Respect, she overheard …
Ask Joy I don’t think it’s fair that my boyfriend at college might go home some weekends to see his family, when I can’t see mine because they live too far away. I don’t want him going home without me. What should I do? My Response If I were talking with your boyfriend, I wouldn’t tell him to break up with you…yet. Question Okay, so it’s easy to laugh at this question, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ve all had moments of responding with pouting …
If you need to catch up on the first part of this series, check out Know Me: Part 1 and Know Me: Part 2. So let’s consider Mrs. McGillicutty. She’s sitting at table #14 sipping her water as all her grandchildren (whom she sees once a year) hit the dance floor. Problem: Her grandchildren (who don’t even know all the moves to the Macarena) are missing out on an untapped treasure trove of wisdom. I would consider this a problem. Art of Asking Questions: Seeking …
If you missed the first post in this series, check out Know Me: Part 1. Now, let’s consider your date to the wedding… Problem: You’re standing in line for the bathroom. (No, not that kind of problem.) Your friend (who really does have a bladder problem) wants the scoop on your date and what makes you two such a good match. Your answer consists of, “Oh, we just have so much fun together!” That’s great. But if the list ends there, I would consider that …
Recently I was at a wedding and I spoke with someone for an hour during “mingle time.” You know, that period lasting anywhere from 60-348.2 minutes where the ceremony is done and you are waiting for the bride and groom to arrive. Mingle Time. Post mingle time, I realized during the whole conversation, I had not been asked one question. Not one. Granted, I was asking lots of questions, and I didn’t have a need for the person to ask me any…but I still found …
Ask Joy How do I talk to my boyfriend about his temptations? I haven’t seen anything or experienced anything with him that makes me concerned, but I think it would be naive to assume he doesn’t struggle. I know that I do, and I guess I just want an open conversation. Maybe just be honest about my own struggles and ask him about his? Part 1: SAFETY Part 2: SHOULD I? My Response Part 3: SHOCKED Don’t be. If you want an honest conversation, you …
Ask Joy How do I talk to my boyfriend about his temptations? I haven’t seen anything or experienced anything with him that makes me concerned, but I think it would be naive to assume he doesn’t struggle. I know that I do, and I guess I just want an open conversation. Maybe just be honest about my own struggles and ask him about his? Part 1: SAFETY My Response Part 2: SHOULD I? Pray. Don’t discount this instruction as “Joy is just saying this because …
I want to answer this question in three parts. Let’s be honest, it’s all finished and ready to go, but we are all A.D.D. and can’t handle reading anything longer tha…I wonder if I should update my Facebook status to “catching up on my blog reading!” Welcome back. As I was saying. Here is the beginning of three short parts… Ask Joy How do I talk to my boyfriend about his temptations? I haven’t seen anything or experienced anything with him that makes me concerned, …
Respect State of The Union Watch the intro to find out what this is all about: RSOTU Intro (1 of 15) Question Men: Do you agree with what the men said about her respecting who you choose as friends? In what other ways have women challenged your ability to make decisions? Do you think that was their intention? Women: If you have legitimate concerns about his friends, how have you handled it? Has it been effective? Why might your words wound him?
Respect State of The Union Watch the intro to find out what this is all about: RSOTU Intro (1 of 15) I thought I was just being polite when asking a guy if he “could” do something for me, but apparently the difference between “could” and “would” is huge to guys. Questioning a man’s competency can cut him to his core – but he may not show it. Question Men: Can you think of something a woman said to you (jokingly or seriously) that made you …
Respect State of The Union Watch the intro to find out what this is all about: RSOTU Intro (1 of 15) Question Men: Have you ever been asked by a woman how you feel most honored and respected? Dishonored and respected? Did you feel awkward sharing? Women: Have you ever asked these questions of the men in your life? What was the response? Does the idea of asking feel awkward or uncomfortable? Why do you think?
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