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Ask Joy …I don’t have any desire to replace my current life with my imagined one, but my mind is good at weaving stories… …Is this just a harmless remnant from that phase of life, or is it something ugly that I should be fighting harder than I have already been? My Response Question: If you had to be really honest, what things cause you to become dissatisfied with your life?
Ask Joy Why do nice guys always finish last? I would love to be in a relationship, but I’m known as the “nice guy.” I’m always more like a brother than a boyfriend. Most of my female friends are much more attracted to “bad boys” because there is a sense of danger, which I hear is attractive to women. Do women ever grow out of that feeling, or am I doomed to “always be the groomsman, never the groom”? My Response Thank you …
Ask Joy My fiance says he would rather be loved than respected. If he feels that he does not deserve or need unconditional respect from me, how do I give him that to get the unconditional love that I crave from him? My Response We don’t feel like we need something if we are getting it… Question What are the things you crave in a relationship? Are they purposely withholding what you need, or are they simply a human being who is unable to meet …
Ask Joy What do you do when many of the men your age at church seem childish and not ready to pursue marriage? (This answer is given from a Westernized American view.) My Response Find another church that will satisfy your definition of a man. Seriously though, I’m not really sure what you should “do” but here are some of my thoughts on how as a woman you might be able to be an agent of change. *** When someone is believed in, his or …
Ask Joy As a male truly desiring to date with honor and respect, I have found “Christian women” seem to fall pretty quick even without truly knowing or desiring to know who we are on the inside. Why are they so quick to fall for SOMEone instead of the ONE? (I already know the answer-as I am a guy and understand the lack of godly men who lead well and love well). My Response What I would like to know is why tall men are …
Ask Joy How do you get your 18 year-old son to see that committing himself to someone at his age is not a good idea. Also, how do you get him to see that going to the same college as her is an even worse idea? My son is a strong believer in Christ and God isn’t even on her radar. My Response Maybe your son isn’t a strong believer? Sometimes we can have rose-colored glasses about our own children. I would try and shift …
Ask Joy My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, and every single day, he and I argue. And we’re not even married yet. It’s now to the point where I don’t feel attracted to him anymore from all the arguing and I want to end the relationship. However, he still wants to work it out and believes we can make it through this. What should we do? My Response I first want to point out a comment that you and many …
In this final video, we tie up the end of Part 4 & Part 5‘s discussion on sexuality and glorifying God (yes those two things go together) and wrap it up by putting Erin and Jenny on the market. Seriously. Also, while Walter and I do have very similar sounding voices, we are not technically related. He is only half German. Hope you enjoyed our discussion! I would love your continued comments on the discussion and stay tuned for next week when I let you …
In this continuation from Part 4, Jenny asks how to glorify God with our sexuality. Erin puts a great perspective on the “struggle” of a chaste life, and I share a bit about my past views…which were anything but glorifying to God. Stay tuned for Part 6…the end of the discussion and where I make Jenny and Erin very uncomfortable in a little thing I like to call, “The Dating Game.” Any men out there single and ready to mingle with these two hotties? Come …
We have all heard the word “chastity.” I’m not sure about you, but the word that immediately follows that in my head is…”belt.” And I’m pretty sure that belt is made of iron…and has a rusty key. FUN! The question we discuss below is one of my favorites. It’s something that won’t have a concrete answer for everyone, but a discussion I think all people should contemplate. Not sure what a “Formal Lunch” is? Watch Part 1 and follow that up with Part 2 and …
“I don’t have a peace about dating you.” Is that a valid statement or is someone just pulling the “God card.” For those of you who wonder about Christian verbiage, join us as we discuss what it means when people say, “I don’t have a peace about _________.” And for those of you who have no idea what I am referencing when I say “having a peace” or “God card” or “Christian verbiage,” …join us anyways. Erin and Jenny once again bring some thought provoking …
Whats a “Formal Lunch” you ask? Make sure to read and watch THIS first…otherwise, the video probably won’t make sense. It’s a continuation from Part 1. Are you about to push play anyways? Seriously…I’m watching you. Watch Part 1 first…or else. Join the “Formal Lunch” and let me know what you think about these questions that Erin and Jenny are asking…What would you say to them? Don’t be shy Nancy.* Billy*, I know you’re dying to join the discussion. (*While Nancy and Billy may be …
Welcome. This is Part 1 of 6 videos that makes up about a 25 minute conversation I had with a couple of my good friends. “Erin from Florida” and “Jenny the Climber” are women I met in Switzerland at a place called L’Abri. While at L’Abri we would have small gatherings of 8-10 people called “Formal Lunch.” The lunch portion usually consisted of soup, homemade rolls and stinky but amazing swiss cheese. And garlic. We ate lots of garlic. As garlic permeated the room, the …
Ask Joy My friend just started to date this guy three weeks ago. In the first two weeks he had cried four times and made her cry twice. Everyone she has talked to, including me, has told her to leave this guy, but she won’t listen. I’m worried about her, so I guess my question is how can I help her make the right choice? My Response This is a tough question. I don’t know why they are both crying so much…malfunctioning tear ducts? My …
Ask Joy What is the appropriate amount to share with a new boyfriend about a serious relationship in the past? My Response My first response and the aspect I truly believe is most important: Pray. Sounds cliché, but I have seen it work in my own life. There were some things I wanted to share with a boyfriend about a past relationship. I didn’t want to rush it, but I also didn’t want to keep it from him. I had prayed for a few weeks …
I realize that my generation resists anything that is “3 steps to ________.” It seems too “packaged” or “consumeristic.” My apologies. In thinking about the things I have learned while being single, I wrote some of them down. This created a list. That list happened to consist of three things. Are you seeing the natural progression? Next time I will let my post be more “organic” and “holistic.” Then we can dialogue. But back to my list… 1) Work at being content, even when you …
The Ask Joy question for this week: What is chivalry today? I believe it’s very easy to take the original intent of chivalry as an “act of service” and change it into a “statement against women.” Take my good friend “Billy the Biker” for example… Questions What do you think? Should women feel this way? Are men paralyzed? Could the dismissal of chivalry be creating passive men? Do we fear empowering one another?
Thanks to everyone who submits great anonymous questions in the Ask Joy section or directly at LoveandRespectNOW@gmail.com It has been such a pleasure to hear your hearts. It causes me to think and pray even more specifically for the concerns and issues we are all facing in this generation. Since I can’t make a video for every single question, I decided to answer some of them publicly in a written response. Some are specific, some broad, but hopefully all of them will help us as …
My father helps me answer another “Ask Joy” question–off the cuff. This is a pretty broad question so it’s hard to be specific in an answer. However, I think his overall challenge is very important and something our generation needs to do. We talk about community and living life together but I fear that often takes on the form of talking to people about our problems that are in our peer group…people who look, act and think like us. I’m not saying they aren’t wise …
This is my first guest blogger in the whole history of the entire universe. That is an awesome sentence. Slightly dramatic, but totally true. For my first guest blogger I chose Morgan because we have a similar heart and life. Have I looked as smokin’ as her in a wedding dress? (That’s her in the excerpt photo.) No I have not. But we both have fathers who are authors and speakers, trying to help relationships. We also work for our fathers because we too believe …
I was sent this video last week and thought it was very creative and well done. Obviously there is a difference between learning how to be alone well and how to be alone poorly. Done well, you grow and learn. Done poorly, you isolate yourself. I think this video gives examples of how to be alone WELL. Don’t deny your need for community. Find the balance. Enjoy life. Grow.
It feels like many people I talk to have already given their heart away once. And for those who haven’t, they are scared to open that door because of the pain they have seen their friends endure. With an increasing delay of marriage and an increase of serious relationships prior, I believe our generation is going to relate on the topic of “lost loves” far more than past generations. Something that can be tempting to create an identity around. Let me explain… Many of us …
The Ask Joy question for this week was: Do you think gender stereotypes are a bad thing? My guess is that it was on the heels of me posting these hilarious videos: HERE and HERE Oh, and Walter make another cameo. I know that’s why you watch these videos. Questions What do you think about my answer? Do you think men and women are different? Do you think it’s ok to point out stereotypical differences even if they don’t apply to everyone?
I have not written about respect a ton on my blog. It’s obviously one of the main premises of my parent’s message and foundational to successful relationships. But it’s so easily misunderstood, dismissed or seen as archaic so I usually like to address it with someone in person. I did address it in a guest post for my friend Nish, (HERE) awhile back but haven’t since. Last night I was working on a talk that I am giving this weekend for women on the topic of …
I mentioned last week that if a book is marked up, that means it held my attention. Which is diffic…. “Look at the birdie!” Ok, the book is: BONHOEFFER: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas. Some people may not have the same love of history, theology, WWII, Hitler, assassination plots and knowing about people’s personal lives like I do…but if you are intrigued by ANY of the above or simply appreciate incredible writing, then you will be engrossed with this book. You love Hitler …
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