Stay Connected
Don't leave just yet. Besides these articles, sometimes I send out extra special stuff. Don't miss out. Sign up here.
Ask Joy My fiancé and I are getting married in April. We are working very hard to live for Jesus and make him our first priority and incorporate him into our relationship; however, it is new to both of us. We don’t see eye to eye on something that is bothering me: bachelor/bachelorette parties. He wants to go out with the guys, and I don’t want a party. I feel as though doing a separate party is celebrating being single when you should be celebrating …
Ask Joy Why do nice guys always finish last? I would love to be in a relationship, but I’m known as the “nice guy.” I’m always more like a brother than a boyfriend. Most of my female friends are much more attracted to “bad boys” because there is a sense of danger, which I hear is attractive to women. Do women ever grow out of that feeling, or am I doomed to “always be the groomsman, never the groom”? My Response Thank you …
Ask Joy My name is Dannie and I have recently been listening to your parents’ audio book. I am only 18 and I’ve been with my boyfriend, who is 22, for only a year, but we’ve considered marriage a lot. I know it sounds too young, but it’s just something that’s been on our minds ever since we’ve been together. So here is my question: Within the past year we’ve struggled a lot with communication. The way we argue isn’t the nicest. I have also …
Ask Joy What do you think about long-distance relationships? My Response A relationship is either going to work or it isn’t. I don’t think distance should be the one and only deciding factor, but it is a factor. All relationships, short or long distance, will entail different factors that will contribute to your figuring out whether she or he is who you want to keep getting to know. Don’t overthink it. Just give it a shot if you like the person. Bonus: If things don’t …
You should probably go ahead and check out my friend Destiny’s Blog: CLICK HERE TO SEE DESTINY CRAFT HER PANTS you will like her if… 1) you like crafts. 2) people who never capitalize. She’s kind, generous, talented and easily one of the funniest people I know. Oh, and did I mention she dances? Like a machine. Her wedding folks. And yes, her husband IS that cool to do this with her. And lastly, the “early years” of our friendship. Slave labor. (Yes, that’s me …
Ask Joy I wish my husband would help me discipline our 3 children. Ideas to encourage this behavior? My Response Thank you for thinking I might have some advice…As a single person with no children to put in time out, I will do my best to answer this question based on what I know about male and female dynamics. When I get married, I may eat my words. This initial question popped into my head: Do you trust his leadership and authority as a disciplinarian? …
Ask Joy What do you do when many of the men your age at church seem childish and not ready to pursue marriage? (This answer is given from a Westernized American view.) My Response Find another church that will satisfy your definition of a man. Seriously though, I’m not really sure what you should “do” but here are some of my thoughts on how as a woman you might be able to be an agent of change. *** When someone is believed in, his or …
Ask Joy As a male truly desiring to date with honor and respect, I have found “Christian women” seem to fall pretty quick even without truly knowing or desiring to know who we are on the inside. Why are they so quick to fall for SOMEone instead of the ONE? (I already know the answer-as I am a guy and understand the lack of godly men who lead well and love well). My Response What I would like to know is why tall men are …
Say that title ten times fast. Ok, I just did…it’s actually not that hard. Instead of writing a blog post* I decided to make a list of the top posts from 2010. Thanks to Google Analytics and forcing my parents to tell me which post they liked the most, I present you with the following: TOP 10 OF 2010 #10 My Mom’s Favorite Post: “Jerk” #9 My Dad’s Favorite Post: “Emerson Interviews Joy” #8 Post Written with the Most Passion: “Swim Baby Swim” #7 Favorite …
Ask Joy How do you get your 18 year-old son to see that committing himself to someone at his age is not a good idea. Also, how do you get him to see that going to the same college as her is an even worse idea? My son is a strong believer in Christ and God isn’t even on her radar. My Response Maybe your son isn’t a strong believer? Sometimes we can have rose-colored glasses about our own children. I would try and shift …
Ask Joy I just got out of a bad relationship and am afraid to date again due to the fact that I’m not a virgin anymore. I’m afraid that the next guy I meet won’t forgive me for my past mistakes. My Response Philippians 3:12-16 Paul reflecting on his life’s purpose even as a sinner: “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I …
Those two things totally go together, huh? This blog is twofold since I just have so many things I like and want to share with the world. The first is a free album by a band called Strangers & Pilgrims. Emily Otteson, is a singer on the album who I had the pleasure of meeting a couple years ago. We were reconnected recently and she reminded me that I had lied to her and her friends and said my middle name was “Full.” I’ve been …
Ask Joy My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, and every single day, he and I argue. And we’re not even married yet. It’s now to the point where I don’t feel attracted to him anymore from all the arguing and I want to end the relationship. However, he still wants to work it out and believes we can make it through this. What should we do? My Response I first want to point out a comment that you and many …
Some of the guys from Rainbreak (check out their latest video with Channing Frye) were over at my apartment shooting a mockumentary for the Con Bro Chill music video. While they were there, I received an Ask Joy question regarding my Formal Lunch series. Since the camera was already rolling, I asked the boys to help me shoot a quick reply. “Decent blood pressure…” Everyone! Get involved. Have your own discussion on topics about relationships, God, sex and more. Let me know how it turns …
Ask Joy My friend just started to date this guy three weeks ago. In the first two weeks he had cried four times and made her cry twice. Everyone she has talked to, including me, has told her to leave this guy, but she won’t listen. I’m worried about her, so I guess my question is how can I help her make the right choice? My Response This is a tough question. I don’t know why they are both crying so much…malfunctioning tear ducts? My …
Ask Joy Do you think the majority of Christians get married at a young age or rush into it to have sex due to the pressures of the church, the Bible or peers telling you to wait until you’re married? Also, do you think it ties into the high rate of Christians getting a divorce? My Response Personally, I think the trend of Christians getting married at a young age is starting to decrease a bit. The delay in marriage that we see in culture …
Ask Joy What is the appropriate amount to share with a new boyfriend about a serious relationship in the past? My Response My first response and the aspect I truly believe is most important: Pray. Sounds cliché, but I have seen it work in my own life. There were some things I wanted to share with a boyfriend about a past relationship. I didn’t want to rush it, but I also didn’t want to keep it from him. I had prayed for a few weeks …
Ask Joy I cheated on my girlfriend after 15 months of dating. We were planning on getting married. After I confessed to her she didn’t want to see or talk to me again. It has been 3 weeks since and we have talked a few times and I actually got to see her two times this past week. She came to my house one time for some stuff and ended up not taking any of it. Then Friday we went to a function and dinner …
My friend Julie is talented. She is in school for a Masters of Fine Arts in Applied Craft and Design. It’s more than just finger puppets folks. A couple weeks ago, my friend Erin came to visit. I knew she would love my friend Julie’s apartment so we stopped by unannounced, at 8am. Needless to say, Julie was adorable even in her P.J.’s For the rest of Erin’s visit, she kept referencing Julie. “How would Julie arrange this plate…How would Julie wear this…How would Julie …
Ask Joy I am currently leading a Love and Respect small group for women. They come from all different situations, happily married, fresh divorce, divorced more than 5 years, married to someone who does not believe in God, etc. Every time these women leave my house I feel like I am putting them in more pain.. yikes! I am using the Love and Respect DVD series and workbook, but it is geared towards couples. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can better …
Ask Joy I liked this girl five years ago. I still compare other girls to her physical beauty. Is there something wrong with me since I want someone that I think is similar in body shape and look? My Response No, there is nothing wrong with you. We all have different things that we are attracted to and that is ok. There are a couple things I would be aware of… 1) If you are so set on ONLY dating a girl that looks like …
Ask Joy I have friends that have had both great as well as horror stories with Internet dating sites. (i.e. scams, just wanting a hook-up, etc.) What are the positives and the negatives of Internet dating? My Answer The last stat I read was that 40 million Americans are on dating websites. One positive would be the large pool to choose from…should you be open to putting your roots down in South Dakota. Honestly though, I think when people question or freak out about dating …
I realize that my generation resists anything that is “3 steps to ________.” It seems too “packaged” or “consumeristic.” My apologies. In thinking about the things I have learned while being single, I wrote some of them down. This created a list. That list happened to consist of three things. Are you seeing the natural progression? Next time I will let my post be more “organic” and “holistic.” Then we can dialogue. But back to my list… 1) Work at being content, even when you …
Ask Joy My boyfriend just broke up with me again. He’s had a rough past with his family and some trust issues. He admits and KNOWS that I love him. He wanted to marry me, but felt so disrespected and was hurt, so he gave up. I’m understanding now after reading your parents book. I want to show him I understand what he meant by disrespect, but I’m also afraid it won’t help. My Answer Proverbs 24:16 says, “For a righteous man falls seven times, …
Ask Joy What happens if you meet someone when you are very young and realize you’re best friends and never want to be apart. You stay pure and you get married…Life is good for a while because you’re hanging out with your best friend. Sex is not a big deal…you have it when he wants to. But then you wake up one day and realize you have never really been physically attracted to this individual. That the sexual feelings you had for him before marriage …
1