Ask Joy Why do women want to get married? As a woman, I don’t grasp it myself and certainly could never see getting married before I’m 25 or how it would be important. My Response Guess what is so cool? You don’t have to get married! Just make sure you don’t make flippant comments without thinking about the repercussions of them. Men will hear your mantra of not wanting to get married, and if at age 25 you all of a sudden decide to change …
Ask Joy If I am 23, how old is too old for the person I am dating in your opinion? My Response 93. You want them to at least remember who you are. Obviously there are different factors that come into play if you are coming from different generations. But if the person you want to date is older or younger, the bigger questions to ask are: Do the wise people around me say we are a good match? Do they support our relationship? If …
Some of you ask me questions that I feel I can answer in 140 characters or less. Yes, I value your questions that much. Truly, I do wish I could sit with you face-to-face and answer your questions—no matter how weird they (or you) are. Since I can’t, Twitter allows me to answer some in a quick way that might give you some direction, make you think, make you laugh, or make you want to send a bomb to my house. Please don’t. “But Joy, …
Ask Joy I’m turning 30 soon and I am single. All of my close relationships are with couples. Ideally I would love to be in a community where men and women, older and younger, married and single, connect. But because it seems as though my friends have just kind of accepted me as the single girl, no one seems interested or available to help connect me with any single men. Am I expecting too much from my close friends? My Response I admire that you …
End of Part 3: …Sex can become casual and free of intimacy for both of us, but how it gets to that point is through different hijackings and perversions of our most intimate design. How are we hijacked? I’ll tell you tomorrow… * Part 4: I believe an understanding of our different designs can hijack sex… It’s my understanding that the visual environment we live in can be more of a temptation for men, and I want women to be aware and have compassion and …
On Monday and Tuesday I answered two Ask Joys pertaining to why men lust and why women aren’t as attracted to the male body. Many women seemed pleased with my acknowledgment that yes, we women are sexual beings, and yes, we do notice a hot man. Others felt that I might be implying that it is OK for women to lust over men. I wanted to be clear about my personal beliefs. You are FREE to believe something else, but this is what I have …
Yesterday a woman asked, “Why do men lust?” I let my father help tackle the question and he challenged the woman to look at the bigger picture by saying, “In the wisdom of God, all good things have the potential for a dark side.” He encouraged the woman to look at her own fears as a comparison. We asked her to trust God in the face of things that don’t always make sense to us — which is especially hard to do when it’s in …
Ask Joy Why did God create men to lust? I hate it that he has to “turn away.” I suppose it’s because I can’t understand it. I am completely fulfilled with my man. There is zero attraction for me when a hot guy hits on me. So my question is, why? Is there a purpose? I think if I understood it a bit more in a biblical sense, I wouldn’t find myself taking it so personally. My Response How many hot guys are hitting on …
Ask Joy What do you think about dating someone who doesn’t KNOW Jesus? My Response Like the background music on this video? The intro to all of my videos is by my friend Ragnar and the music played during my Ask Joy answer is by the super talented husband and wife duo, The Woodlands. So grateful for uber talented friends. 2012 Update: My friend Renea wrote a great post on the same topic…CLICK HERE
Ask Joy My friend and her husband have been married less than a year. Recently they’ve had some of their worst spats via text message. Hearing it is almost laughable, if it weren’t so nasty. Needless to say, they haven’t read Love and Respect or any marriage books. How do you encourage couples who may be starting out on the wrong foot without sounding preachy? My Response “Bill, Nancy… I’m concerned. Lately I have been going through your phones when you were in the bathroom …
Ask Joy My boyfriend of 3+ years just broke up with me because we have different plans. I thought I would be OK, but it feels like my heart is actually breaking. Do I give up my plans to follow him or do I tough it out and just pray that this pain I feel will go away? My Response I wish I could sit down and have a conversation with you. My heart breaks that you are in such pain. I know that pain. …
This Ask Joy is not as silly as some of my other responses, but I think it’s a very important question and response. I am essentially trying to tackle the question: What is a way to show respect when it isn’t easy or deserved? From my heart, Joy
Ask Joy #1 A guy who has come to my church’s college group only twice has asked me out on a date. Is it ideal for me to go out with him and get to know him, or is it too soon? My Response If he wears a ski mask and/or has a hook for a hand, yes…it’s too soon. There is nothing right or wrong with this situation; however, you may want to ask yourself a few questions and pray for discernment. 1) Do …
Ask Joy I am a 20-year-old woman, in school, working part-time, and dancing every day. I am completely happy with myself, inside and out. The only thing I feel is missing in my life is a relationship. I’ve actually never been in a relationship. I date, but it falls through every time. I keep searching for this “spark” or connection and seem to be having trouble finding it. I know I don’t need a guy to make me happy, but I still want to find …
Ask Joy Will there ever be a point in a relationship where you will feel free of doubt and be 100 percent ready to choose to commit? My Response For some people, yes, but I think that’s more indicative of a personality trait than whether something is right or wrong with the other person. Regardless of personality and feelings, it’s more important to say, “Am I free to date this person based on what Scripture tells me?” Then… Based on your personality, you can decide …
Not gonna lie, weirdest video to date. I blame it on fatigue. It was the last of four Ask Joy’s shot in one shoot. I was tired and when I get tired on camera, I somehow appear to have more energy. You’re welcome. Ask Joy Why is it so hard to let go of feelings for someone you know isn’t good for you? My Response Never heard of the band Mumford & Sons that I so beautifully vocalized? Maybe you live under a rock, or …
Ask Joy What does the Bible say about pre-marital sex? My Response 1. Turn off your computer. 2. Now your iPod. 3. Yup, iPhone too. 4. Turn off the TV. The Miracle Mop infomercial isn’t going anywhere. 5. Stand up. 6. Do 15 jumping jacks. DON’T ASK WHY, JUST DO WHAT I TELL YOU! 7. Walk the 3 feet to your bookshelf or the 3 blocks to the library. 8. You chose the Library? Nice. Now whisper. This is a library for heaven’s sake. 9. …
Ask Joy I have three different friends who are engaged or are getting engaged. Honestly, I am so happy for them. But my issue is that all my friends have pity on me. Why? Not because I am single, but because I have been dating the same guy for five years. The reason we haven’t gotten married is simply a financial issue. Honestly, we don’t want to go into marriage having to borrow money from our parents. The job market has been scarce, and my …
Ask Joy I have this friend. He is my best friend. We write music together, build websites together, and do cooking shows together. We’ve been friends for three years. I’ve started developing strong feelings for him. I don’t know if I should have these feelings. I am really attracted to his heart and to him, but I don’t know if he likes me. I am keeping quiet about it. I want him to start it because he is the man and I think the guy …
Ask Joy …I don’t have any desire to replace my current life with my imagined one, but my mind is good at weaving stories… …Is this just a harmless remnant from that phase of life, or is it something ugly that I should be fighting harder than I have already been? My Response Question: If you had to be really honest, what things cause you to become dissatisfied with your life?
Ask Joy My fiancé and I are getting married in April. We are working very hard to live for Jesus and make him our first priority and incorporate him into our relationship; however, it is new to both of us. We don’t see eye to eye on something that is bothering me: bachelor/bachelorette parties. He wants to go out with the guys, and I don’t want a party. I feel as though doing a separate party is celebrating being single when you should be celebrating …
Ask Joy Why do nice guys always finish last? I would love to be in a relationship, but I’m known as the “nice guy.” I’m always more like a brother than a boyfriend. Most of my female friends are much more attracted to “bad boys” because there is a sense of danger, which I hear is attractive to women. Do women ever grow out of that feeling, or am I doomed to “always be the groomsman, never the groom”? My Response Thank you …
Ask Joy My name is Dannie and I have recently been listening to your parents’ audio book. I am only 18 and I’ve been with my boyfriend, who is 22, for only a year, but we’ve considered marriage a lot. I know it sounds too young, but it’s just something that’s been on our minds ever since we’ve been together. So here is my question: Within the past year we’ve struggled a lot with communication. The way we argue isn’t the nicest. I have also …
Ask Joy Can friends who “kind of accidentally” hook up, stay friends? My Response (Disclaimer: I blame the weirdness of this video on my friend Lindsay. She was in the room with me and brings it out full force.) Book Recommendation: Hooked by M.D. Joe S. McIlhaney Jr. and M.D. Freda McKissic Bush
Ask Joy What do you think about long-distance relationships? My Response A relationship is either going to work or it isn’t. I don’t think distance should be the one and only deciding factor, but it is a factor. All relationships, short or long distance, will entail different factors that will contribute to your figuring out whether she or he is who you want to keep getting to know. Don’t overthink it. Just give it a shot if you like the person. Bonus: If things don’t …
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